January goes February comes

Time passes by too fast for my liking,
There are too many things to do on my agenda,
Im hoping that slowly i will be able to compartmentalize
the " yucky " parts and close them up.

Weather: Muggy & hot
I feel the rise of heat on my laptop,
To be honest i would like to be home now,
Content & hugging on to the couch
Boy* I need some good night sleep

Again, just to impossible

another day to dooms day

Tomorrow, will be marked as a day of judgement.
Ok, this sounds like a bad remake of all the end of the world movies.

I have a whole week of.....packing.
This is a whole make over....Pack physical items, pack up feelings & pack up and move commitments.

To be honest, right now. I have mixed emotions about the haul thats going through my life. Mental block right now....

A solid black box, no cut outs...
Here we go bicker bicker...

A wave of uncertainty

Music: Ben Harper on Replay over...and over again

Tainted, to the highest degree.
Gods testing me for the ultimate juggle and decision making for my mid twenty crisis.

Seriously, i wonder why?
I have to hold the weight of the world ( it seems like it )
with thorns pinching through my bare hands.
Over dramatic? Mind you it's not.

Here i am trying to make ammends with the shop,
hoping to bring a little light into my pockets & catching dreams,
BANG! a Thud! SLAM, struggling to swim as im going agaisnt the waves of collectors.


My future seem to be bleak,
Rather depressing rant for a Saturday but thats were the hands are typing.

A BIG MOVE, A BIG CHANGE & A BIG QUESTION MARK?

Ok, tummy is rumbling & all i can think about is curry laksa....

note* I is constantly used

newbie in the webbie

Ever since i started this new template, im back to square one which is taking baby foot steps .

I cant seem to load pictures in this new setting ....im sure theres a way :). If only i knew how to do scripting ,haha(yeah right! gn) .....That would only happen in another life time

Anyway, everything is in hula hoops now.
Im scattered everywhere , back and forth, up and down...

I notice in the modes of blogging, The art of spilling the beans & the raving madness of my babbles. I enjoy writing, Sure i havent done it in a while but you always seem to come back to it.

Plenty of times this reminds me of a cycle. We blog, we scout for other bloggers & we tend to jump on to a fascination of bloggers who colour their life. Its a wide broadcast of the individual , as we like to read it but sometimes i wonder whether deep down inside it's a specticle of a shadow. Nothing runs deep, it's just a reflection. So, despite knowing the
daily scoops of the bloggers life. I mean no one really knows.

To rate myself as blogger, i would say im a 0.
Neither there nor here, always been like that.
The middle ground, i never enjoyed being labelled to be
in a certain category. I hope i wont ever. So, you can call me
an island. MISS ISLAND....haha

I am my own, expressing rather strange twisted sentences.
Sometimes stories, sometimes moments. I would say moments.
This is what i write about, cutting the chase.
Documenting the little bits that make me happy, not to make
it into a paparazzi campaign.

Fascinated & eager to leep off & to drop everything.
Seriously whats stopping me? Life of a human being is dictated
by rules, who set up these rules??? Curiously, the way we shape human
society starts from the beginning at the top and foremost. FAMILY!
The one ball and chain that straps your feet to the concrete chamber.

With them, they tie the knot to your freedom.
Theres no physical implications but the power of
making you feel guilty & bad, is their speciality.
Maybe, it's the silence, then the mind starts with consequences that builts rapidly in
your mind . When in fact, you could prob take of at ease.

To be a tree hugging & non materialisic woman would be amazing!
I want to visit 3rd world countries, climb mountains,
Live by the paddy fields ( this i will, sorry syg! that includes you too!),
Backpack & work at bars, Scurring along with chooks....
I dont know guys? This is it, my picture perfect life....
Im so close to doing it...

Then, you're zoomed back into reality where commitments a bitch.
Where you need money to do the simple things in life.
Crazy! Take me back to the 70's, let me roam free and be
a hippie...

Till then,
rants are back!

owl in bed

yeah, exactly that. I should be all snuggled in bed with lovely dreams of tomorrow.

Instead im washed with fear of tomorrow,
This time its rocking my boat and im hanging on a thin thread here.

Constantly anxious of everything, jumping at any news, no peace, no sanity.
This time im on my own, charging at my own drum..while lay next to my safe house, who snoores contently.

Fear , fear of just living.
Fear that this cycle doesnt end!
I want to be a child, dreams nothing but days ahead. Dreams of rays and light.
its to late now, im on the otherside with sorrow n much dissapointment of the mirror.
I want to be picked up, oh its been a while.
A while since i felt the need to miss those secure handsI want to be a child, the child i was once.
The one who needs nothing but a gentle hug.
I miss those days of randoms, sit by and play
by.
Exhausted and weak.,
i will pray that day will come where i would be blessed for a day on earth.




+m beat

Rewing & Hit Playback

Here it goes, the playback & lessons learned in 2009.
What a year it has been, full of challenges & amazing things to.
On a scale, it was balanced. However, why does it feel like
moving forward to 2010, the taste of ligering 09 is there.

A new year, a new outlook we say. Well, i truly hope so.
All i can say know is, determined on a couple of things.
Just to finish archi without any turmoils . Just smooth sailing where
i can devote my love and attention to design.
Big big plans surely for memoirs, the passion thats part both Vanessa & i.
Thats one thing no one is going to take from us, it's embedded.

I want to be free. free from that encircling ring thats been part of my
ball and chain for years now.
Perhaps this is the year where brighter ventures can be heard and spoken.

Im such a big kid, big heart & views.

xx

Happy Bday Bestie!

A big shout out to Miss Ness, Counting down to her bday.
Another fellow October Baby to be added on to many other
babies who are born in this great month. hehehe

Wish you were here in melbs & Have a beautiful bday !!!!

xoxo

going on a limb

It takes another human being to place you right smack in your tracks.
Often you wander about ignoring the outmost importance of an individual
to find that your unintentional act is merely a careless mistake.
Now, the question falls down to whether the other who seeks refuge under
your wing has rebelled without a cause and throwned you so far into the
deep end that acts of spite, revenge and cruelty is all that can be
expressed. Will you wing the creature through this dark phase?

How strange where the path takes you, how strange that when it does your
most intense desires and need to write is flowing ever so rapidly down
these keyboards. I have found what i have been looking for which is the
desire and fierce commitment that i have lost many moons ago.

A new enlightenment has whispered its grace on me, a light of perspective.
A light of cunning emotions that drape so deep within me.
A tunnel of visions which was clouded by mass materials and unnecessary
devices.
In turn, churned the machine of clouded conversations.

Whispers and talks, whispers that come beyond our reach.
Mind matters that pierce so deep within your heart,
without a hold without even a word of care.
How long will this nature takes its course?
How long would you expect to break my bones down?

Man was made to dream and yet to suffer ever so greatly,
The pain of which i can call my own,
The solid wall of trust that i take you in with me
and will guide you while i have none.
Lets venture beyond our playground,
Lets venture to sing and dance through this confusion.

All is part of patience, all is a pride.
For nothing in this world could blind me,
For nothing in this world could feel the beat,
I am your devoted being,
I will continously be your one and only.

..........................................

its is no longer whole without you

News flash!

hey guys pls check: www.memoirsfashion.blogspot.com

xoxo

this time its for real!

It was an absolute bliss that everything fell into place,
All my heart is swelling too is a million and one thank you's
to all who showed up,
helped out and made everything possible.

xoxo

Running from A TO Z

Pish posh and a million thoughts running through my head,
I am feeling a little bit under the weather,
thanks to everyone around me coughing like mad,
and the heavy pouring rain.
I seem to have attached myself in this chain reaction.
Offcourse, i forgotten all my vits in melbourne.

I hope i dont end up being a coughing
bride to be on my engagement this Saturday.
After many funny images looming over in my head,
it is a comical stand to be in.
Who knew denying myself to marriage would end up
placing myself in this strange predicament.

However, i will imply that this notion has not
scared me off my toes or given my partner the cold feet.
Though i will say that i am getting the cold
shoulder trying to plan and put all the players
in the right spot.
Mainly pleasing others and adding more wrinkles
on to my face.
By the end of it, i hope somewhere over the rainbow
would come.
Yikes am i already seriously in the next phase of my life?

strange strange*

wheel of fortune

its that time of the blinging year,
A new start, a new day ....
Well, i would like to think so.

However with much dissapointment.
It seems as though i am reverted to
a flashback of painful memories.
Filled with rather eye piercing and head
shaking trauma ....

Nevertheless, i pick myself up again with rather optimictic yelps.

Now how do i began to tell a story? ( yes, with a gaze thats going a 360 degree turn)
its 2.49 am in kl, with huddled humid air around me.
I will say i am content with no hassle's of responsability.
This short term triumph as i would like to call my holiday
are short lived as i am slapped back to reality of work work work and no play.

Never do i really get a chance to breathe in the context of melbourne,
Im slaved to little details of work, up in the morning and still up in the morning.
Till i am left with a gaunt face and very disgusting hair.

Anyway, tomorrow my agenda is in a whirl wind.
Hence, the wheel of fortune.
Running about the little errands and also postponing
appointments.
I would like to for a fair moment, to let loose and hang on a cloud.
Drifting far off to a bit of sleep and jog some refreshed memory
into my little cramped head. The agony, how very scorpio like to
enjoy this painful gesture.

I have a week, before the big day arrives.
Well the second small bit that ends on to a big day.
I am prepped with much padded weight and guzzling
all the malaysian food i can get. I would like to favor
a nice personal pampering session but that will never happen
as i am currently called a crippled.
In malaysian context " Yes, i dont drive" and the very
person i am relying on is dronning me with complaints.
As robert would put it , GET STUFFED!
yes, lovely remarks i have picked over the years in OZ.
Not the usual "Gday Mate" but mostly vulgar ways to express
your feelings.

Despite me being a BUM... i am purely satisfied with doing
nothing. well the house chores and personal errands mostly.
Makes smiles more often in my weary face.

"Another day will come, another wheel will be spun,just waiting on a little bit of luck and chance to come by my way"

bambino beanie beanie

Time is kickin in,
so is the moment of silence,
Moments of change,
Days like these lay a mark,

I cant believe that it's almost
the month of February.
It is absolutely scary how fast
im getting closer to the date.
Somehow, i am excited.
somehow i am challenged.

Overtaking or part taking in this
venture.
Whether right or wrong,
doesnt change my mind about it.
Who knows whether it will flourish
but i do now with the attentive
care and pursuit that we both have.
It will every moment that we have hoped for.

Big Bang of 2009

Big bang they say about starting a new year.
More like big rush, everything around me is going into
a giant swirl.
Could be a good thing or a bad thing.
I know for sure, i am exhausted.

Im bumping into every corner and slipping , picking myself up
over and over again.
I suppose thats what you learn in the new year.
I didnt have any resolution or any thoughts of compromise when
it struck midnight.
I suppose i was in awe of the giant big screen
chanting the count down.

After that, im back into routine.
I suppose if i had to look back and revise
the wants for 2009.
I would do less work, space to breath, take care of myself,
aim for a good well being, strategize & grab chances.

So, i have a week before getting on the jet plane.
Where im going to have another load of
stress. plus point: Great food & no house chores

miss october

It turned out all well,
thank you for the lovely wishes*
It was great to have a day where i had to do nothing,
well nothing stressful

I had a great steak at squire's loft,
girly movie with ajie ( maid of honour),
Lovely day with friends,
My brand new sewing machine!
thank you syg! i love it,
Just need to attend my sewing classes
and before u know it im whipping up garments.

Also anticipating a lovely day out on the 4th,
Melbourne Cup, let the bets begin

xoxo