its been a while.......

I will open the page with the word sadness.

it's been a while since i have been sad,

it's been a while since i have wanted to drown my sorrows in despair,

It has been a while since the world looked down upon me without care.

The last time i was sad, truly and genuinely sad was in end of 1995.

Nothing could possibly erase me from that eventful day. Nothing could also live up to the amount of sadness that i received that day. It was a wishy washy of mixed emotions. Wanting to remain poised as a young girl and yet feeling numb ever since. Just waves of sorrys passing by.

From then on, not a touch of events could hurt me. Making me ultimately annoyed and hot tempered.But a couple of days ago, i was sad. For a long time now, i can still feel a pang. It may not be as comparable as to what i felt years ago. But i was just sad.

A pang, that something so close to you cannot be revived. Nothing is the same.

I use to wonder why this happened to me? But sometimes i just ignored it.

Maybe somewhere accross my palm , secretly lies a line that opens a door.

i miss him, miss papa very much......