uncannylittlemissgiana

We ve moved to www.dineinstilettos.blogspot.com

2011-03-27T23:28:00.000+11:00

All my blogging has moved to www.dineinstilettos.blogspot.com

xx

What do you do on a quiet day?

2010-07-06T14:58:00.003+10:00

Sunny and peaceful, that is what today is. However, with a cuppa of coffee i am absolutely buzzing in anxiety. Yes, not a very smart idea to having a low down on stocking and revamping my window up this week.

Several things struck me today.
1. I need my journal, this just helps me accomodate all those pent of feelings and a way to journey my way through the past and present
2. Drink 2 litre's of water
3. Healthy living , despite having my domesticated life again
(cant wait to eat my trevally with sesame and zucchini's)
4. Get on with technology in all sense, so with internet back home and blackberry services available. I should be able to rock my way through every aspect of business
5. I need a day off where i can sit and not sit in front of a computer.

xx

Just Realize

2010-06-24T17:30:00.002+10:00

Lately, my rants have been merely of an obsession of how everything stinks. Yeah well few weeks ago my mood was zero but lately with all this time with me and my new regime of making myself healthy. I have started to push aside the "crap" and welcome good karma and good vibes despite being so stressed about things.

So, with a lot of courage and smiles im opting for more happiness that i can create.
Enough ranting about the bleak black pool and try to make of whatever i have.
So , in conclusion as long as im healthy, surrounded by people i love,food in my cupboard and clothing on my body & i am able . This equals to being grateful , therefore a deeper sense of peace that i havent been able to achieve in a while now.

So far much of the clockworks i thought that were dim, have started to tick again. So yes, welcome a busy hectic life from this moment till we end this year in which i am very curious to where it will take us.

Total total mood for a big transformation which generally means a haircut/hairstyle change.(hehe* been pulling my extensions out, i had major dreadlocks happening there) Ohh, and lately my current obsession is too puncture my balloon cheeks and face? what is this can old age make my head bigger!??! hehehe*
it tickles my tummy actually, small body and big head. I might start to resemble a bratz doll!

Recent chats with my girlfriends have also added more spice and delight.
The chats start to resemble the obvious. Relationships--> wedding bells
Body --> gravity is starting to push the body into dif directions, mostly downwords.
Independence,

xx
current song : Colbie Caillat- Break Through

Women and our space

2010-06-13T20:31:00.005+10:00

Lately , most of the time I find myself whisked away with the noise of the droning train. In that split moment, my eyes ..mostly my thoughts fly away and land on my next movement. Paving through the streets while my toes are curled in a frozen frenzy. I feel the urge, the urge to write .I'm not much of a writer but from the time to time. I like to indulge, in a little tale of nursery rhymes.
Today, i find that it was the first time in months i had my own space maybe a year. Rather strange how in a day, the room smells of flowers. No dust on the shelves. Clothes put away, scooping away to bowls of soup and plenty of SATC to keep me company for a few weeks.
What is it with women and our way of moving around in our space. Its the complete opposite of men. In some ways i think this is why marriage goes into a dump hole. We move like preened peonies while men slumber along with a trail of socks. Hilarious but absolutely true? So, the argument of question in hand for a modern women is Do you slave yourself to him?
Taking your way into the next chapter of life. We often find ourselves whisked away during the high time of dating but honestly after the braced fingers take place.We all start whining, bickering and arguing of how the plates are everywhere and the collection of shoes soon to be named the pile of "Imelda Marcos" consumes the room. As modern generation, the first instinct is to protect and attack. Guess what? Hun, it doesn't help the line of married couples.
So what do we do? Compromise, but retaining the feminine role in which is to nurture.I mean, after all...men are big babies and at the end of the day . They want to be babied , full time! I am on for feminism but when you settle to build a family. It's your choice to make it work as it is for the partner. So, hand out your betty crocker apron and whip up your 3.5 american dream. Enjoy and laugh off the silly small stuff that sweats your head because you and him are bigger than unfolded laundry.

S.O.S

2010-05-31T14:13:00.002+10:00

Having & humming the S.O.S song in my head, over and over again. Lately i have been hit with the "blue" bug, seriously I'm relatively chirpy when it comes to things even after getting a head lock or guillotine moment ( as sayang puts it ). Despite listening to happy tunes of John Mayer, i am stuck in jello- o. Puts you in that funny scene in HONEY I have shrunk the kids ! Put me out of my misery and hand me a giant chocolate to savour my sorrows or befriend me my giant ant so he may take me away like thumbelina and the swallow.

So far, I have managed to compartmentalize and slowly gather the piles and solve them slowly. Off course if possible, i hope it can go away by this weekend! or at least in the following week.

Back to other misc. things in my life, I find winter just puts me into a hibernation mode. As soon as light goes, I'm wanting to veg in my little bed and curl up to good old fashion TV. I should say DVD as i still need rabbit ears to get TV channels to come through. I slip on to my Jammie's, hrmmm i think tonight is a good book night and you know what . Today , I'm going to pray. I'm going to pray for my family ( all of them ) and all my loved ones.

I feel that's what I'm lacking, some spiritual thought and happiness to feed my soul.Yeah, seem to mentioning soul a lot. Scary huh? Mid life 20's crisis. Haha, not to far from 30 and lets see what i will come up with then.

You can Never Run or Hide

2010-05-18T18:41:00.009+10:00

Turned out this trip, was my way of running away. Despite having to face my now reality, i found that in many ways this trip helped me heal my tired body and soul.
Made sure it was purely filled with what i truly needed to do, so forgive me if i havent made my time in the day sometime in the trip to book in the date.It was purely to feed my soul with the essentials

A little place called Home

2010-05-01T23:02:00.004+10:00

Home home is where the heart is, momentarily doing some healing and work.
I would like to dream away about being at a beach somewhere, would i be crazy
to take a bus up to Penang where my cousin is at and lay in the sun for a mere day.
Im glad to have a free day and do absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, i have a small voice which pulls me back to reality.

sigh* i need to head back to Melbourne soon

A fan of the big picture

2010-04-27T19:43:00.003+10:00

I thought i will be naughty today, indulging every bit of my jet lagged body to gather the vintage/past pictures to remind me a story of how i got here. Many of them which were off my little sister tiana, she was an absolutely adorable little bub . Yes, we spoil her rotten! Funny photos which catch you at the moment, im tempted to whip out my camera to give it a shot. My photographer eye to catch every moment of sound, laughter and tears.

I remember spending hours as a little child flipping through photos in my grandma's house and also trying to figure out an untold story behind those days of smiles.
Cant wait to have a whole series of montaged photo. I really should sleep but this must be the excitement of being home.

I LOVE THAT IT'S MUGGY AND IM PERSPIRING
I LOVE THE SMELL OF RAIN
I LOVE BEING WITH MY FAMILY
I LOVE THE TASTE OF MILO IN A CARTON AND 100 PLUS
I LOVE EATING ALL THE YUMMY ULAM AND FISH
I LOVE KNOWING THATS THERE S A DANCE STUDIO AROUND THE CORNER
I LOVE JUST BEING HOME...MOMENTARILY...chuckles*

Dont worry syg, in case you re reading. I MISS YOU LOADS TOO!!!

Beat of May

2010-04-23T11:51:00.002+10:00

Beating down to the month of May, Yes im forwarding a week.
Anxious about the many mini projects all launching in one go.
How exciting is this? But i am thankful for the tornado coming towards me
because without much hassle and tears. I wouldnt be in this predicament,
which is STRONG....

Excited to feel the breeze of warmth and familiarity within my reach ,
thats the beauty of what i would like to call a holiday .
I would never get a holiday of a holiday, im taking a holiday to gather
myself and be in my zone for work. Where i can actually get a lot done.
Launching our new line of autumn/winter collection and a good website up and
running. yeay!

Till, i have my feet in the sand. My weekend is predicted to be BUSY

That funny feeling

2010-04-21T15:08:00.002+10:00

Today, im having that funny feeling sitting in my tummy.
One i seriously need to cut out my alcohol as it clearly drains my body out,
and also the amount of caffeine i consume.

Looking forward to my nesting place which would mean YEAY! DETOX,
Welcoming all the good fruits and some old fun sweat !

That sounds seriously gross, but i need a break!

End of the hectic month?

2010-04-15T10:34:00.002+10:00

It's one of those days where we have nothing but empty bubbles, yeah im feeling that right now. My jar is flowing with a million of activities in which i want to accomplish by the end of the week.

Here's the never ending list
1. 4 proposals which i will remain tight lipped about it
2. Sorting out my room
3. Getting the water company to pick up the unit
4. Ensure the couch is out of the house by the weekend
5. Arranging the back room again! ( inclusive of new furniture)
6. Updating memoirs website
7. Healing my foot which is sprained right now
8. Marketing on sunday
9. Laundry pilling up so high!
10. Sorting out my cats
11. Surviving without going broke

So, lets see if i can tick off all these mini activities

till my next blurp
xx

Craving for a piece of rainbow

2010-04-09T13:23:00.003+10:00

Here comes along another Weekend, which means im creeping up to end of April pretty soon! Noooooooo, actually yeay! Meaning the end of a hard month.
Nway im looking forward to moving out for real, Still have the bulk furniture laying around the now house and honestly* our new housemates must think i dont want to move in.

* Cheers to the weekend of many cleans and patching my two cats together + millie

I dont know whats going on but the streets are awfully quite for a friday. However, planning to bury myself into a organization mode. As, i did that whole of monday /tuesday. This time i look forward to putting in the drawers and a table , voila* hopes that spruces up the back room. I also have a whole heap of returns and tagging to do. So after 2 pm till 6 pm , a good solid 4 hours i should get all of that done. Leaves me the weekend to concentrate on customers.

Yes, lately my mind has been tunnelled with a lot of "work" visions and truthfully that consumes me and everything else in it.

Till the weekend is over
xx

Holiday Blues

2010-04-06T22:18:00.002+10:00

Current: Prob 2 kg heavier from this photo

Then: Nothing has changed, prob the rise of activities in life

OK, today was productive. Not only was i away from the lap top at work, i was up from Morning till Late Night sorting out our new stock and making sure everything was tagged and marked properly. Oh boy, wait till i bring in my shelves and cupboard. It will be good as that would introduce a proper shelving unit into the backroom therefore making it easier. However, prior to that. THE CLEANING is just daunting. I reckon i would truly be organized by end of next week.

We're out of paper bags but I'm wanting to use the big ones till half of it is gone and then will i order the mini white ones. The light at the back needs changing so i will sort that out when ajie gets in, wait a minute another light is also out at the front entrance. Mmmmmmm..... in the mood to change the front display hangings. I want to go crazy with the design but my mind is like plugged and congested. So I'm moving things into a pile and doing them as slowly as possible.

Moving has been a failure, however at the rate we're going with things. This would mean that my room will be homey by the time i get in. Rather ridiculous that body corporate only allows moves on the weekdays, i mean people need to work.....

Mood: Mixed with sleepiness and also bloated-ness. Yes, gn you have to quit the sweets. Head says and speaks of tomorrow, its not the weight though the tummy starts the resemble one of a 5 yr old. My body and soul feels awfully sluggish in the morning. Its amazing how true the body mimics what you eat, so i need to stop the junk and load on the "healthy options". I love it anyway aka fruits and veg, admittedly lately I haven't had any of them .

1. Its expensive, if i don't pack or buy them at the markets
2. Most restaurant are meat friendly and have pathetic string of what they call veg dishes which usually plate down to baby slices of cucumber, tomatoes, baby leaves and carrot. Ewww.....
3. I run out of recipes by the second day
4. My partner doesn't eat them, so its rather selfish if i have a cook out and have them all favouring my vegetarian appetite.

Oohhh, its raining. I LOVE the pitter patter of rain, imagining myself curled up to a good book. Ahhhh, cant wait to move. This makes me laugh and reminds me of my Enid Blyton days , hah ...... familiar moments of the way i express myself in writing. Yes, like a children's book. Detailed enough to imagine yourself in my shoes. Strange!

Looks like my hands and mostly heavy eyes are slanting towards making a deep big sleep tonight. Please be good to me dear old Melbourne....No more surprises

xx

Time permits

2010-04-03T16:47:00.004+11:00

Staring into space & literally having the eye balls glued into something that's not really there in the midst of a giant crowd actually zones you . When the "zone" begins, your body almost seems transparent and i drift. I could drift and split myself into a manifest of thoughts. Then, snapping back to reality and falling down with a loud big thud where i realize, god get a grip gee-Ann.

I have moments like these pretty often, yes scary that i enjoy my solitary moment of non existence. Tonight that is the plan, in about 5 Min's i will take a few steps to pick up the sign board & my last existing flower pot to begin my journey home.

1. I want to some light packing & sort out my million of clothes i have
( to be honest, i have gotten rid of most of them)
2. Do some work on the com, well tonight
3. Head to the new house and feed millie and check on chloe, filling the new cupboards with things
4. Draw a timeline of what will take place in the next few weeks in this jam packed schedule i have
5. Nap....i so badly want to nap....

So, rather boring chores and i bet only 50% of that would be achieved!
AHHHHHH..... tram has just passed, meaning I now am stuck in the store for at least 10Min's before the next one arrives.

*Super excited about the built in book case in the room where all my untouched books are sitting right now. Surprisingly I have another case to fill in and somehow or rather looks like my giant shoe collection will sit there...ah yes, I would never call myself a shoes collector and yet i have somehow managed to collect 30 over pairs in 8 years??? Isn't that normal? That's the whole point of today, learning to chuck what needs to be cleared . Time to zen the moments of a hoarder and relinquish the Buddha of necessity

OK,check I'm back home and what are my initial reactions. Scum down the bag of famous amos that sayang has bought. So much for "cleaning", good news is we're heading down and that means I get to clean my room! Thinking about unloading my collection of bags into the cupboard and moving my lucky bamboo plant that slowly is turning into a sickly yellow. Poor thing, looking extremely unhappy in this room. Not to mention, Dali went a little mental on chewing most of the leaves up.Thanks! Sigh* Growing so well in chevron and now looking so wilted. Time to move my baby over & start reviving back my magic tree.Lets see what google magic has in store for me to nurse my plant back into tip top condition?

Thank you for getting back to me but the leaves are not the part that is turning yellow but 1 out of tree stalks are turning yellow.

I printed out the newsletter and will read through it. Should I be worried about the stalk turning yellow?

Jamie's Reply: I am a little concerned. You may have some type of pathogen — insect or fungal. Check for scale or spider mites both are insects. Scale will be a cottony substance or a shell like attachment on the stem or at the base of the leaves. You will need a magnifying glass to see the spider mites — they will be actively crawling around. As for fungal, check for soft tissue any where on the stem especially at the water line. One other thing have you fertilized your lucky bamboo? I will research a little further to see if I can come up with any other possibilities.

ackkkkk!! I will be giving it a quick rinse in the new house and also check for these mites!!! i reckon it's probably the water. After much reading in several forums. Looks like there needs to be some surgery to take place on the yellow stem and cleaning out the existing pots and stones.

xx

Queen of ????

2010-04-02T22:18:00.010+11:00

Month of March & April, certainly temperamental. I mean name the amount of trouble someone could get through. Well guess what? That's my colour chart, the range of colours could certainly blind your eye sight from a mile away. Hounded i say by trouble, Giana plays a blessed soul that constantly surrounds herself by a chain . No, i call it a multiplication of test by the man above to see how far her boundaries could be pushed and to which point will she indeed choose sanity or insanity?

Conclusion: I find myself greatly disturbed of my tolerance to pain. Sometimes, i figured if i seem "MEH" i could indeed be less stressed and take the devil by its horn and say the big fat " F YOU " because I'm beyond this. How scary, it is to be in the unknown and that's my dark cloud. The big black hole of nothing swirling in my mirror, that's my future dangling by the Achilles heel.

I suppose that's human dilemma, I'm hoping the subsidised "busy" schedule i have this month would soon turn to ease in May clearing that rather cluttered head of mine. The home can be filled with home cooked meals, Loving cats & my nights with good books curled in my hand. Ha, yes fate laugh me in my face and say dream on!
I smell a good image of my body running about in endless chores of business.
Sometimes, i wonder why don't i have two of me? One could be the vision which is my entrepreneurial side and the other the home maker where i can indulge in a carefully chosen lifestyle which mainly depicts a Pilate's session and Martha Stewart moment with my freshly baked apple pies.

So, slowly breeding my skills into a queen of cards. Silly enough, i could not even handle a day off on a good Friday? Practically in jitters, i sat for a moment feeling a giant pang of...... guilt? Its as though i have programmed myself to fill in action in my day. This is when i think my head needs a rest and a holiday.

Here i began to conjure my dream city and life in New York. I could almost taste and smell the NY air from the last trip. Secretly,i so badly want to pick up my bags and go. Where i could just use even a second to diminish any existing point of madness and just wave the magic wand to form my very piece of art. The tales of travel, my wide eye expression and my magic sponge effect in which i absorb everything in my environment. I sense the building forms, the movement of trees and people. The change of air and smell, entangle in a moment. I crave for those moments which i so long haven't seen.

This is the year, where i am almost quite certain and determine to wash off that chalk board dream and almost tattoo it into my skin . It will be better despite certain circumstances, surely i can do it. I keep getting little mini signs or drop of hints with New York, *chuckles* i reckon its my mind projecting what i want.

twitch* twitch* My eye is doing some weird heart thumping moment in the corner.
Must be excited for my sudden need of an adventure, before i get ahead of myself
and start speeding off into the green light.
I take a big gulp of air, sweep my fringe to the side & do an upward motion with my arms. I quietly pray "to the big guy up there" and believe that as i search in between this web of mess. My little butterfly of hope always appears when i need it most.

yet another easter

2010-03-30T18:24:00.006+11:00

This time we would be dividing my expressive paragraph into two. Just in the need to change up the way things sit. I'm feeling utterly uncomfortable today! From my silly fringe (so regret cutting), to my bloated tummy, dehydrated body, the chilly chills that creep up to me and mostly the thought of moving out. But i keep things bright , just imagining the house. A moment where i can let out a giant "sigh" and go ah i am homeeeeee....

So what do you think? Doesn't it smell of home! Hahaha, I guess you can call me a traditional house wife with the perfect home being defined as a lovely Victorian home with a garden and timber floor. However, before we go any further. I am going to make a list to see whether i can truly be called "wifey"

Wife characteristics
1. Love cooking
2. ANAL behaviour of cleaning
3. Love groceries
4. Even more in love with markets
5. Curling up in our space
6. Shopping for unnecessary bits and pieces to make it more homey
7. Yelling at ajie on a daily basis

Modern characteristics
1. So so about laundry, prefer to do my share
2. Washing should be done fair
3. Work long hours
4. Always on my lappie even after work
5. Independent on my social outings
6. Going dutch on expenses
7. I need my healthy range of food

So, then i googled the role of a "traditional housewife"

A homemaker handles household responsibilities as his or her main daily activity. While not an occupation in the traditional sense, as it is not usually undertaken for monetary remuneration, a homemaker may work full-time to maintain the home environment. The term emerged as part of the 'politically correct' movement. The occupation is typically taken by one adult of a household, such as a parent of a child unless all working age individuals in the household work full-time. If the homemaker is part of the family, a female homemaker is usually termed a housewife, and a male homemaker, a househusband. The domestic consumption work[1][2] of homemakers provide goods and services directly within a household, such as cooking meals, childcare, household repairs, or the manufacture of clothes and gifts. Common tasks include cleaning, cooking, and looking after children.

So, this marks the point of life where home comes first before settling anything else. Looks like most friends are heading down the path despite getting engaged before any of them . I am so happy to see that our generation is getting a better grasp on forging a unit with their partners. I guess not necessarily the gage of being married but you know carrying on to another level through different types of commitment. Love is in the air for 2010

The "Body"

2010-03-23T16:57:00.003+11:00

Feeling the sudden "urge" to understand better my sudden obsession with the body. I had always been a little skinny bean as a child, i didnt get any curves as a teenager & a regular figure when i was in college.

Now, i can say that the body is resisting to keep in top form and i can immediately see the difference as soon as i start to consume sugary drinks everyday & adding meat to my everyday meal.

Results, i have lovely love handles & a flab ab stomach & my thighs....yeeks*
For one thing, i dont do exercise so i started pushing in a daily 30 mins quick run
after work. Ideally i would like to do it in the mornings. Its amazing how great i feel the next day

So, yes im ranting about lumps and bumps.
Dont get me wrong? I dont want to be super skinny, but you know i want to feel good when i get up in the morning, i want clothes to slip in like a second skin & i dont want to feel the need to hide myself behind blousy clothes or step away from 'poly' material.

Today was a decision making day to set up a food diary and to knock in a few bunch of routines. Im a little extremist which means if exercise is drilled into my system i will just do it everyday
and if i want to get into a health punch, i have to start eating home ( rolls eye* it's not an option and i need to save some $$$)

So, Here's to a start to drinking more than 1 glass of water a day and working my way to healthy living

A big glow

2010-03-16T16:40:00.004+11:00

http://www.youtube.com/user/sthiagi#p/a/u/1/TmB0LMymV3U

http://www.youtube.com/user/sthiagi#p/a/u/0/Vv7iJbG0u3A

A big glow,
One i didnt expect to occupy.
I guess when i was little, there was only me.

Me to create a picture,
Me to draw the bridge.

This is the unexpected beauty of family,
She is the continuation of the story.

This is a time for soul feeding & today i did a bit of that,
reflecting on the formation of family & the unexpected glow
of a being proud of a family member,
I love my baby sis too bits & i cant believe how fast she's growned.

Soon enough, she will over take us and we will all have
the need to protect her under our shelter.
Its uncanny how my perception of family is,
Sure enough we have been swung over my a whole lot of "drama",
Sure we dont look like your regular family,
But through and through we are a unit.

Multitudes of Reflection

2010-03-15T13:31:00.006+11:00

My pockets are filled to the brim,
The lightness of that financial drop
is wilting over that droopy slope,
Time and time again,
I wash myself with endless dreams of greens,
Time and time again
i restlessly pick myself up to wind the walk,
Beyond my vision,
beyond my endless fight to stay up,
I'm still finding the light out

Glad to find that i can resume to uploading my pictures while i do a moment of reflection. It has been a rather interesting and amusing weeks for me.
My soul, mind & body has been pushed beyond my boundaries and i am happy to say i can keep going despite being toyed around with the old friend called "fate".

So dear fate, what do you have installed for me and my friends.
Amazing that the moments of rethinking, moments of rescheduling is gruelling down all our minds and at the very same time.
So beyond the thousand of miles that seperate the 3 entities, we all share a common thought.
Where, why and when should change come?

Let us examine the parts

MY SOUL - Strong, Abused, Likes to Contradict, Confused, Tortured, Sad at times, Exhausted, Determine, Stubborn
Medicine requires a whole lot of spiritual feed, enlightenment & light.

MIND- Wearing down, Tired, Grumpy , Playing a Gemini part in decisions
Medicine requires a Holiday and Support

BODY- Heavy, Dehydrated, Eyebags, Joints are hurting
Medicine requires Exercise, Meditation, Water and a whole lot of love

Funny, when i list it down it so clear and almost dumb to ignore these needs.
I need to feel my soul

January goes February comes

2010-02-03T15:32:00.000+11:00

Time passes by too fast for my liking,
There are too many things to do on my agenda,
Im hoping that slowly i will be able to compartmentalize
the " yucky " parts and close them up.

Weather: Muggy & hot
I feel the rise of heat on my laptop,
To be honest i would like to be home now,
Content & hugging on to the couch
Boy* I need some good night sleep

Again, just to impossible

another day to dooms day

2010-01-31T13:23:00.000+11:00

Tomorrow, will be marked as a day of judgement.
Ok, this sounds like a bad remake of all the end of the world movies.

I have a whole week of.....packing.
This is a whole make over....Pack physical items, pack up feelings & pack up and move commitments.

To be honest, right now. I have mixed emotions about the haul thats going through my life. Mental block right now....

A solid black box, no cut outs...
Here we go bicker bicker...

A wave of uncertainty

2010-01-30T13:33:00.000+11:00

Music: Ben Harper on Replay over...and over again

Tainted, to the highest degree.
Gods testing me for the ultimate juggle and decision making for my mid twenty crisis.

Seriously, i wonder why?
I have to hold the weight of the world ( it seems like it )
with thorns pinching through my bare hands.
Over dramatic? Mind you it's not.

Here i am trying to make ammends with the shop,
hoping to bring a little light into my pockets & catching dreams,
BANG! a Thud! SLAM, struggling to swim as im going agaisnt the waves of collectors.

My future seem to be bleak,
Rather depressing rant for a Saturday but thats were the hands are typing.

A BIG MOVE, A BIG CHANGE & A BIG QUESTION MARK?

Ok, tummy is rumbling & all i can think about is curry laksa....

note* I is constantly used

newbie in the webbie

2010-01-29T17:56:00.000+11:00

Ever since i started this new template, im back to square one which is taking baby foot steps .

I cant seem to load pictures in this new setting ....im sure theres a way :). If only i knew how to do scripting ,haha(yeah right! gn) .....That would only happen in another life time

Anyway, everything is in hula hoops now.
Im scattered everywhere , back and forth, up and down...

I notice in the modes of blogging, The art of spilling the beans & the raving madness of my babbles. I enjoy writing, Sure i havent done it in a while but you always seem to come back to it.

Plenty of times this reminds me of a cycle. We blog, we scout for other bloggers & we tend to jump on to a fascination of bloggers who colour their life. Its a wide broadcast of the individual , as we like to read it but sometimes i wonder whether deep down inside it's a specticle of a shadow. Nothing runs deep, it's just a reflection. So, despite knowing the
daily scoops of the bloggers life. I mean no one really knows.

To rate myself as blogger, i would say im a 0.
Neither there nor here, always been like that.
The middle ground, i never enjoyed being labelled to be
in a certain category. I hope i wont ever. So, you can call me
an island. MISS ISLAND....haha

I am my own, expressing rather strange twisted sentences.
Sometimes stories, sometimes moments. I would say moments.
This is what i write about, cutting the chase.
Documenting the little bits that make me happy, not to make
it into a paparazzi campaign.

Fascinated & eager to leep off & to drop everything.
Seriously whats stopping me? Life of a human being is dictated
by rules, who set up these rules??? Curiously, the way we shape human
society starts from the beginning at the top and foremost. FAMILY!
The one ball and chain that straps your feet to the concrete chamber.

With them, they tie the knot to your freedom.
Theres no physical implications but the power of
making you feel guilty & bad, is their speciality.
Maybe, it's the silence, then the mind starts with consequences that builts rapidly in
your mind . When in fact, you could prob take of at ease.

To be a tree hugging & non materialisic woman would be amazing!
I want to visit 3rd world countries, climb mountains,
Live by the paddy fields ( this i will, sorry syg! that includes you too!),
Backpack & work at bars, Scurring along with chooks....
I dont know guys? This is it, my picture perfect life....
Im so close to doing it...

Then, you're zoomed back into reality where commitments a bitch.
Where you need money to do the simple things in life.
Crazy! Take me back to the 70's, let me roam free and be
a hippie...

Till then,
rants are back!

owl in bed

2010-01-28T01:38:00.003+11:00

yeah, exactly that. I should be all snuggled in bed with lovely dreams of tomorrow.

Instead im washed with fear of tomorrow,
This time its rocking my boat and im hanging on a thin thread here.

Constantly anxious of everything, jumping at any news, no peace, no sanity.
This time im on my own, charging at my own drum..while lay next to my safe house, who snoores contently.

Fear , fear of just living.
Fear that this cycle doesnt end!
I want to be a child, dreams nothing but days ahead. Dreams of rays and light.
its to late now, im on the otherside with sorrow n much dissapointment of the mirror.
I want to be picked up, oh its been a while.
A while since i felt the need to miss those secure handsI want to be a child, the child i was once.
The one who needs nothing but a gentle hug.
I miss those days of randoms, sit by and play
by.
Exhausted and weak.,
i will pray that day will come where i would be blessed for a day on earth.

+m beat

Rewing & Hit Playback

2010-01-10T13:38:00.030+11:00

Here it goes, the playback & lessons learned in 2009.
What a year it has been, full of challenges & amazing things to.
On a scale, it was balanced. However, why does it feel like
moving forward to 2010, the taste of ligering 09 is there.

A new year, a new outlook we say. Well, i truly hope so.
All i can say know is, determined on a couple of things.
Just to finish archi without any turmoils . Just smooth sailing where
i can devote my love and attention to design.
Big big plans surely for memoirs, the passion thats part both Vanessa & i.
Thats one thing no one is going to take from us, it's embedded.

I want to be free. free from that encircling ring thats been part of my
ball and chain for years now.
Perhaps this is the year where brighter ventures can be heard and spoken.

Im such a big kid, big heart & views.

xx

Happy Bday Bestie!

2009-10-14T02:10:00.003+11:00

A big shout out to Miss Ness, Counting down to her bday.
Another fellow October Baby to be added on to many other
babies who are born in this great month. hehehe

Wish you were here in melbs & Have a beautiful bday !!!!

xoxo

going on a limb

2009-09-01T00:03:00.007+10:00

It takes another human being to place you right smack in your tracks.
Often you wander about ignoring the outmost importance of an individual
to find that your unintentional act is merely a careless mistake.
Now, the question falls down to whether the other who seeks refuge under
your wing has rebelled without a cause and throwned you so far into the
deep end that acts of spite, revenge and cruelty is all that can be
expressed. Will you wing the creature through this dark phase?

How strange where the path takes you, how strange that when it does your
most intense desires and need to write is flowing ever so rapidly down
these keyboards. I have found what i have been looking for which is the
desire and fierce commitment that i have lost many moons ago.

A new enlightenment has whispered its grace on me, a light of perspective.
A light of cunning emotions that drape so deep within me.
A tunnel of visions which was clouded by mass materials and unnecessary
devices.
In turn, churned the machine of clouded conversations.

Whispers and talks, whispers that come beyond our reach.
Mind matters that pierce so deep within your heart,
without a hold without even a word of care.
How long will this nature takes its course?
How long would you expect to break my bones down?

Man was made to dream and yet to suffer ever so greatly,
The pain of which i can call my own,
The solid wall of trust that i take you in with me
and will guide you while i have none.
Lets venture beyond our playground,
Lets venture to sing and dance through this confusion.

All is part of patience, all is a pride.
For nothing in this world could blind me,
For nothing in this world could feel the beat,
I am your devoted being,
I will continously be your one and only.

..........................................

2009-08-04T21:07:00.000+10:00

its is no longer whole without you

News flash!

2009-04-03T18:54:00.002+11:00

hey guys pls check: www.memoirsfashion.blogspot.com

xoxo

this time its for real!

2009-02-11T03:45:00.007+11:00

It was an absolute bliss that everything fell into place,
All my heart is swelling too is a million and one thank you's
to all who showed up,
helped out and made everything possible.

xoxo

Running from A TO Z

2009-02-03T16:01:00.002+11:00

Pish posh and a million thoughts running through my head,
I am feeling a little bit under the weather,
thanks to everyone around me coughing like mad,
and the heavy pouring rain.
I seem to have attached myself in this chain reaction.
Offcourse, i forgotten all my vits in melbourne.

I hope i dont end up being a coughing
bride to be on my engagement this Saturday.
After many funny images looming over in my head,
it is a comical stand to be in.
Who knew denying myself to marriage would end up
placing myself in this strange predicament.

However, i will imply that this notion has not
scared me off my toes or given my partner the cold feet.
Though i will say that i am getting the cold
shoulder trying to plan and put all the players
in the right spot.
Mainly pleasing others and adding more wrinkles
on to my face.
By the end of it, i hope somewhere over the rainbow
would come.
Yikes am i already seriously in the next phase of my life?

strange strange*

wheel of fortune

2009-01-31T05:43:00.005+11:00

its that time of the blinging year,
A new start, a new day ....
Well, i would like to think so.

However with much dissapointment.
It seems as though i am reverted to
a flashback of painful memories.
Filled with rather eye piercing and head
shaking trauma ....

Nevertheless, i pick myself up again with rather optimictic yelps.

Now how do i began to tell a story? ( yes, with a gaze thats going a 360 degree turn)
its 2.49 am in kl, with huddled humid air around me.
I will say i am content with no hassle's of responsability.
This short term triumph as i would like to call my holiday
are short lived as i am slapped back to reality of work work work and no play.

Never do i really get a chance to breathe in the context of melbourne,
Im slaved to little details of work, up in the morning and still up in the morning.
Till i am left with a gaunt face and very disgusting hair.

Anyway, tomorrow my agenda is in a whirl wind.
Hence, the wheel of fortune.
Running about the little errands and also postponing
appointments.
I would like to for a fair moment, to let loose and hang on a cloud.
Drifting far off to a bit of sleep and jog some refreshed memory
into my little cramped head. The agony, how very scorpio like to
enjoy this painful gesture.

I have a week, before the big day arrives.
Well the second small bit that ends on to a big day.
I am prepped with much padded weight and guzzling
all the malaysian food i can get. I would like to favor
a nice personal pampering session but that will never happen
as i am currently called a crippled.
In malaysian context " Yes, i dont drive" and the very
person i am relying on is dronning me with complaints.
As robert would put it , GET STUFFED!
yes, lovely remarks i have picked over the years in OZ.
Not the usual "Gday Mate" but mostly vulgar ways to express
your feelings.

Despite me being a BUM... i am purely satisfied with doing
nothing. well the house chores and personal errands mostly.
Makes smiles more often in my weary face.

"Another day will come, another wheel will be spun,just waiting on a little bit of luck and chance to come by my way"

bambino beanie beanie

2009-01-22T02:21:00.002+11:00

Time is kickin in,
so is the moment of silence,
Moments of change,
Days like these lay a mark,

I cant believe that it's almost
the month of February.
It is absolutely scary how fast
im getting closer to the date.
Somehow, i am excited.
somehow i am challenged.

Overtaking or part taking in this
venture.
Whether right or wrong,
doesnt change my mind about it.
Who knows whether it will flourish
but i do now with the attentive
care and pursuit that we both have.
It will every moment that we have hoped for.

Big Bang of 2009

2009-01-17T01:33:00.006+11:00

Big bang they say about starting a new year.
More like big rush, everything around me is going into
a giant swirl.
Could be a good thing or a bad thing.
I know for sure, i am exhausted.

Im bumping into every corner and slipping , picking myself up
over and over again.
I suppose thats what you learn in the new year.
I didnt have any resolution or any thoughts of compromise when
it struck midnight.
I suppose i was in awe of the giant big screen
chanting the count down.

After that, im back into routine.
I suppose if i had to look back and revise
the wants for 2009.
I would do less work, space to breath, take care of myself,
aim for a good well being, strategize & grab chances.

So, i have a week before getting on the jet plane.
Where im going to have another load of
stress. plus point: Great food & no house chores

miss october

2008-10-28T19:37:00.016+11:00

It turned out all well,
thank you for the lovely wishes*
It was great to have a day where i had to do nothing,
well nothing stressful

I had a great steak at squire's loft,
girly movie with ajie ( maid of honour),
Lovely day with friends,
My brand new sewing machine!
thank you syg! i love it,
Just need to attend my sewing classes
and before u know it im whipping up garments.

Also anticipating a lovely day out on the 4th,
Melbourne Cup, let the bets begin

xoxo

effin retarded

2008-10-23T00:31:00.005+11:00

Mood: angry, upset

Ok, im hitting the young 24 this sunday.
You know,what i want?
I just want a quiet sunday relaxed, which
pretty much never happens in my life.
Not adding on to more pounds of chaotic stress in my never ending
boring routine which runs every 24/7.

I want a day where i dont have to think,
a day where i can mingle and do my own shit,
at this point, no one freaking knows what i want.

urgh! really does shit me.
I want space, much needed space.
I want to spend a day in a sewing class
or discovering new quaint alleys in the city,
I want to go for a flea market which happens on a sunday,
I want to have quiet brunch with great breakfast,
I just want a day where the house sits pleasantly & in order.
I want to go for a nice drive and see the countryside,
I want a day at the beach, just humming to my own tune,

Anyway, i dont feel like celebrating this sunday
I would rather postpone it, to the races.

blogging from bed

2008-10-18T03:22:00.004+11:00

this is certainly an uncanny moment
Staring down on these tiny keypad,
Trying to get a word or two down.

Tom kovac was right,
We should ,take every use of
Being connected to the cyber world.
The opportunities are endless,
Who would have thought at aGe 23 and
8 days from being 24, i would indeed
Be Tech savvy.

The last time i was incline to the moving world was with my dad,
Since he left i actually stopwanting.
All talks of cars and material diminished as he wasnt there anymore for me to share.
Funny,how certain past moments make u
Change, you lose parts. People dont grasp the concept of losing, its absolutely heartbreaking, ps im not talking about relationships, those can absolutely be replaced but my dad . Well, frankly the word is never.
So they dont understand space, it works.
It works for those who need to heal.
Emotional talk, i think it hits when we are close to understand the evolving flow of human cycle......
I always thought that perhaps my life with the many punched holes have a direction. There must be a reason?
A fair , a funny reason perhaps, to test my patience, oh boy have i been tested. From accusations of bein distant,
From predicting your so called personality and style.
guess what, i am neither of those thing.

I tell u what i am a girl who works hard
To survive,
I take pride in silly jobs that i undertake,
I care more than u think,
Sometimes it s stressful to be under attack,
I enjoy my silent moments,
I enjoy just being.

This must be my words for hitting the almost beginnings of your life,
Soon 24, soon to be engaged,soon to be marrried with a freind /soul mate,
Soon my own road, haha and maybe a drivers license..xoxo

Wanting evident space to fill my void.

Its one of those days

2008-10-15T00:00:00.004+11:00

I am extremely relaxed,

Yes, i was craving for a little bit of pleasure.

So, i treated ajie and myself for a swedish massage

by the school of natural medicine.

Ajie konked to a nap, while i was half awake.

It was funny, to hear every conversation

despite everyone being in seperate rooms.

Now, im feeling it though.

Should have dozed off into a dream.

Reality check* Yes, i have a major essay

So, start cranking on it woman!

Recap* had the loveliest brekkie on sunday

with lovely company.

Who would have thought some unrecognizable lane

would lead to a unique brunch.

Also, found lovely nick nacks along the way.

I still want that white pear* pomegrante? apple is cute!

AH yes, plus my kuali!

Recap* sunday was another lovely day.

A walk in the park & sun sun away

Recap* monday

Running about with errands*

Nice dins at Chinta ria or was it blues?

Heard the faint humm of kate perry at the prince,

damn should have gone

Recap* Tueday-today

Woke up out of my slumber,

Did laundry and tidying up.

To my eyes still looks horrible messy.

Threw out some old stuff

*Arrived* my eames lamp...all i can say is it's a giant peach

ps*arent lin's dogs cute!

True Blue

2008-10-13T00:48:00.007+11:00

You know the feeling where you are falling into quick sand,

Slow yet the ever so torturing never ending fall,

Knowing that the day of death is coming soon.

Yeah, that s how i feel.

That is how i feel everytime now.

I dont know, what is taking over me.

This weepy annoying facade is exhuming me.

Right now:

Watching 21 items on ebay,

Smelling the familiar scent of stuff from mummy,

Having stupid mid length hair,

Frasier talking and the non watching audience,

Throbbing pain up my legs and down my neck,

My Kahlo Frida cushions staring at me,

Finally a down turn smile, showing my signs of "happiness."

Its beyond my knowledge, to be at this pinicle.

I think clearly, i need a holiday,

A new hobby, new company,

New air mostly......

It's like this art work, all of my feelings contained and solid.

*Raya with the meow meows***

2008-10-04T14:35:00.008+10:00

**Babies on a roll**

Mood: cats , well more like dali is going AWOL.

Running up and down the used chair.

Yeah, she thinks she owns the world.

Hahaha, maybe it's every womens proposition to be on top of

the world and everything!

Now she's busy tapping her tail while glancing strange looks at me.

Funny, i have had her for i think 3 years & she's still like a kitten.

Spoilt and active, while the baby chloe is quite the opposite.

Instead she lies on her belly and sleeps like a pooch all day.

So, what did i do this raya.

It was well spent at work till late, bought cute collars for my meowsies as raya gifts.

Had coconut house curry with yong tau foo.

Pop by bouverie's raya gathering.

Saturday---> Body torned from too much movement from last night.

Pains---> The ever rising work i have, im tired*

Should i go? should i not? i dont know....

Spinning wheels & Little Squeels

2008-09-29T00:39:00.019+10:00

Brekkie Spot: TUSK, thanks to some internet research.

I managed to find a busy/yummy spot for a nice sunday brunch.

Despite the long wait of 40 mins for my scandinavian potato stack,

i enjoyed every bit of my rostie, salmon,spinach & poached eggs.

Definately coming back again , not on a sunday and for their lunch menu the next time.

We rushed towards the Showgrounds with a lot of enthusiasm,

Plus the realization that it's not my 3rd but 4th year in a row

attending the Royal Melbourne Showgrounds.

I personally think, i could never get bored of carnivals.

It was an absolute bliss when i was 6, let alone in my 20's.

We jumped on first with rides, tee hee* in total only sums up 2!

While ajie and the other daredevils did around 6.

Did the usual show bag shopping with less bags this year.

Bumper cars was hehe relatively violent & chomping down

in the grand pavillion was my fav!Yummy cheese toast & pippin dots plus

yabbie pie. Cough* Organic Doughnut

Joys--> Dart games, i was good! not to be a brag.

I actually hit 5/6! Winning myself this funny looking duck.

I was surprised.

Shows-->The monster truck was ho hum*

But the motor cross was great! Better than it's been.

Crazyyyy stunts...by a split second , everything could

fall apart and it didnt :)

Scenic views from the ferris wheel was nice,

Though my legs felt like jelly, as usual.

Im such a chook....hehe....

Phone + Bestie = :)

2008-09-28T03:42:00.006+10:00

A distant ring, sounds all to familiar...

Where were the days where i could hang on to

the line with friends till your ears were dropping off

and eyes dozing off. Conversations soon turning to bable ....

I cant do it anymore, i cant yap...

However, i did today. Lovely lovely call from Krys.

Made my day, Miss her* Actually i can do it with my bestie's.

I suppose theres always so much to catch on and remember.

CIMP seemed so long ago, busy bees we were.

Laughing, smilling,Happy...

Now, im just an old grump* Who wants quality time at home.

I think with all that contact hours i have with work,

at the end of the day. You just want to vege out and remain

silent, even for an hour. Talking & standing all day, is getting

to my frail body ;)

So, us ladies have made a pact to call atleast every Once a month on a Sat, seems to suit us both.

The time difference was a killer to start a conversation, which had taken a raincheck for more than a month.

EAGER BEAVER---> Brekkie ar Tusk, heard about some infamous green eggs.

Though, had funny mix reviews but hey i want to give my tastebuds a go before rating the joint.

IN LOVE---> With Fruits, major snacked attack on Gelati with Fico...yumm & Fruitti Di Bosco.

Had some mata kuching tooo...I wouldnt mind some boost.

CHANGE---> Dyed it and textured permed my hair. I know, it's my own obsession..

but hey i didnt cut, i just needed some life in that limp hair.hahaha

TRADITION---> 3 years in a row this year for Melbourne Showgrounds...

I am winning that pony & il go on my big slide...tee hee* and purchase them

great goodie bags.

I think im getting back to my blogging days. Man, im feeling rather boxed up.

Too many thought running by, perhaps zooming is more precise.

What if's ? Worries , Torment and Wanting to Know...

Isnt it always the case, for the Young 20's...

Worrying over the small stuff...well, mines slightly bigger thank small.

Tick tock, to my engagement....im so far from planning, it's gone by.

I dont know, im happy in my space and i think it would

go on smoothly :) The hype is over for now and taken by the more important

things in life, uni...

toot toot*** time to get those sleepy eyes a good rest~~

Tupperware Club

2008-09-22T22:51:00.003+10:00

Mood: It's All about Storage for me now. Yes, im finding many ways to conceal and contain my items. It's from pencils, paper,Spices,My goodies ( chocolate ), Clothes ( the huge collection that i have seemed to breathe in), Mags...basically everything i live in.

Hahahaha, well i couldnt possibly contain my cats. They seems to be quite happy up on that old couch. Looking high and mighty.

Lately, the roller coaster i am hitting. Is going to no ends,

I am....in pain from the headache that throbs my head.

Happy moments--> Van's been hitting Melb flights very frequently,

it's lovely to have your gal pals around.

My Margerat Muer Covers, i want more of it.

So back to the obsession, Im still stuck in a rut with

organizing my clothes. I just won a bid on a wadrobe,

but with the built in one that i have. I just want everything

to be neatly stacked...

Just shits me, that everything is exposed. Yeah, Im on this compulsive mood to hide EVERYTHING.

You know, it just looks neat and clean. The room is going on minimal, WHITE!

im in love with this horse lamp, i guess when i do get the chance.

I will pop by Brunswick and scoop over to perhaps purchase it. Another thing, im looking for

are shoes boxes. Im going to take polaroids and stick em on the boxes...

Huntt....hunttt....Here we go.

Latest Buys--> Old school mini teh/Kopi glasses!

Japanese Pot

Freshener For My Wadrobe

Yummy Blueberry Yogurt

Withdraw....elllsss

2008-09-18T11:26:00.002+10:00

It has only been 3 weeks, and i cant stand my hair being in the state it is.
Boring!
It looks so bleh, so im thinking it's time to visit Jo....
I know, im meant to grow it out and leave it long ...
But dull and limp, is just not my style.
So, im giving myself 2 weeks for the hair to grow out a little
So snippity snap , it will have to go.

Either i do a super light colour for spring or i cut,
But then im like hey! why not both.
So il do the cut then hit the colour after...

Yikes....! im totally bombarded with h/w...
sigh*

ET Home

2008-09-16T02:53:00.003+10:00

excitement--> hah, finally i am connected to the cyber world.

Whereby the possibilities of endless connection of information,

e-mails and more posting is made a reality.

I guess despite my wanting to be unconnected to the world.

I am slightly being indenial. I miss everybit of my internet.

Ok, now im counting down to the hours i have. To turn my last weeks

"turd" drawing into a non turd drawing. I need to jump to bed.

Wake up to the sunrise and start drawing away my masterplan

of the oh so wonderful retail store ikea....oh hummmm*

The upside--> For once, having moths flying out of pockets have not

brought me to the slums. I am absolutely spicing up to it.

Ok fine, im running up bills left right and centre,but you know.

As my beloved lola says, dont let anything bother you despite the stress.

So, it's cool im looking at the new few month being a good

transition of events.

The downside--> Hitting my pillows for good short nap,

Till the next blahhhh on this page.

the season to be fasting

2008-09-01T15:49:00.003+10:00

Wow....look at how fast another year goes by,

yet sometimes it feels like eternity for me.

Mood: Feeling sleepy

1st day of fasting

hungry? nope

thirsty...maybe slightly

unhappy....yes maybe

Anyway, the house is a mess.

Boxes stacked up like lego's,

Rubbish to be throwned out,

Useless stuff that i do not know why existed in my last place.

Happy thoughts---> Just relaxing, though i do have work tom.

Dinner still deciding, to cook or buy?

Panicky....over the amount of clothes i have collected....

Grrr* time to clean out

naming a home

2008-08-26T17:36:00.002+10:00

Who would have thought in the 6 years,

Finding a nest/ place to call home is difficult.

Besides the rise in rent prices,

The heavy rain of bills , movers & new home products & groceries

which eventually Steal the show for savings.

Thus, leaving you perhaps on the edge of eating maggi for

the next few months.

I would like to think its rather blissful, to be in this midst of mess

as long as i have place called home.

Body----> Moving away from my engagement body and into " winter" storage,

Thank god with puasa being in the corner & the holy month vibe.

"US" the couple, should reduce our going out days to hibernation.

let's hope so ;)

wants---> Quit my new interest in .......

left to my own secret storage,

happy---? I dont know, Im piled with so much to do and so little time.

Melbourne melbourne, staying in it : gives me a free fall of on going activities and work

Kl, staying in it : gives a rise of stress from people, not having enough personal space yet having ample time to lepak and relax.

weathering winter again

2008-07-28T20:48:00.002+10:00

It seems im never far from wandering the streets and facing all my bones
being constantly filled up with rushing cold winds.
Just in Dec-Jan---> i was experiencing winter in the states
from breezy beach weather in San Diego,
Shopping trips in our warmest gear in New York,
Beautiful & Heavy snow in Canada
Frozen bits of water in Washington DC....

Before that Melbourne winter had just ended,
Now here i am back to WINTER...my toes frozen...
Bundled in my robe like coat....
Frankly i could have a little bit of sun or atleast a longer
period of summer brushing agaisnt my skin.
;) Perhaps, i could catch some when i head back to kl in Dec.
Vietnam, Cambodia here i come

Tootsie rolling back to melbourne

2008-07-16T12:02:00.003+10:00

ok, now im in the second stage of packing.

Which is finalising the little things that you tend to forget,

I get quite nerdy and all,

with my little list of things. Currently it's pilling on rather than getting ticked of.

OoOoPS......

Im glad i managed to sort out my other list of what to expect for the engagement.

I think im prepared to dwell my hands into all the commotion thats

coming for me.

" Mentally prepare yourself" hahaha....

But other than that.....im all packed and ready for my trip back.

Im also totally psyched that they are still showing SATC in the movies,

i mean how can i watch it all censored in kl.that's wrongggg....

After my trip to New York, ahahah im officially a fan.

IMMUNE and homeless

2008-07-12T19:56:00.003+10:00

man....all past post in these few months seems to be all grumpy...& grumbily...

Visa finally got approved which means im heading home soon.

I dont know where is home now since clearly we're homeless at this point,

Anyway despite it im heading back with a whole new phase,

Going to love that i will be shaking in my bones ...winter breeze

Job hunting again, late night in uni again, my baby cats again ( this im looking forward to)

eating il doche freddo's, eating at thai culinary,

travelling out to do my groceries,fitzroy gym,

tram jumping and hiding, roaming the familiar streets..

licking my fingers to lovely crabapple cupcakes...

decisions

2008-07-06T15:19:00.007+10:00

Such a wild goose chase.
Chasing after those who are meant to please,

Chasing those that you are meant to obey,
Chasing after those god damn wishes.....

mood: not amused, to a brink of no care & no emotion.

You would think that your own or collaboration of decisions

would be left there as a sign of mere support from others.

Naa.... that in due is not happening.

Instead i am unravelled into a whirl wind of too many

opposing thoughts and comments from others.

Working together? Never ..... maybe in my wildest dreams.

A sign of friendship between the union of two people is meant to bring a wholeness.

I wonder whether at a course of time, if i still had my firm father.

Whether this crazy roller coaster would take place.

I think my wishes as i had always shared with him in the past,

were never a point of argument. At the time I was given everything

but i was not spoilt. I was just merely sharing a lovely bond with

my father. One where he understood me & stood by me to make

matters better. Time passes by, and no one respects my decisions

to be my own person. Have they not realize within these years of absence.

I am my own person with simple logical thinking. My demands or rather

decisions in life are purely sane.

Marriage:

Marriage is a personal union of individuals. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is called a wedding and the status created is sometimes called wedlock.

The word personal? That has not ever been whispered in

practice in my life. Everyone instantly jumps into my space

& resides there....

tinkering

2008-07-02T02:33:00.003+10:00

"Im swept of my feet to never never land,

Land where skies shine as blue as it can be,

Hovering winds, mostly whispering desires,

Now, i lay awake just wanting .....more."

splat

2008-06-27T17:34:00.013+10:00

show has been great! 5 more to go and im a free woman!

though i will miss doing rehearsals and the cast. :)

info on the show just go to www.ticket2u.biz

Besides that, im pullling my hair on future engagement plans...everyone is stressing me out but i guess this the reality that sometimes it doesnt come down to your own plans but others...and sometimes i dont think people realize that we need to be rational with things. I will repeat both of us need to finish our studies before actually finalizing any wedding plans

Woooo SAHHHHH!!!......

all it takes is a second

2008-06-23T02:48:00.016+10:00

Ajie did it, we're both engaged. I have nothing else to say but it was lovely to have good friends and family there.Thanks guys for coming, couldnt have wished for anything better than this...we are offcourse missing one last important person "li bee"

photo of my beautiful ring is taken by balqies :)

" i appreciate the fact syg saved up & bought the ring with his own money, love you"

to war with myself

2008-06-18T02:16:00.003+10:00

Something made me wikipedia her today. Have been arguing with others that Cate is actually aussie. So, finally after a long time of procrastinating. I found out clips of her life. Funnily enough, i struck familiarity with her upbringing.

Here goes:
Blanchett was born in Ivanhoe, a suburb of Melbourne, Australia, the daughter of June, an Australian property developer and teacher, and Robert "Bob" Blanchett, a Texas-born United States Navy Petty Officer who met Blanchett's mother while stationed in Melbourne and who later worked as an advertising executive.[4][5] When Blanchett was 10, she lost her father to a heart attack. She has described herself during childhood as "part extrovert, part wallflower".[6] She has two siblings; her older brother, Bob, is a computer systems engineer, and her younger sister, Genevieve, worked as a theatrical designer and received her Bachelor of Design in Architecture in April 2008.[6]

Just keywords off course. Reflection is a part of what i do sometimes. To reflect on others is to learn more of the present.

big plans

2008-06-16T22:05:00.005+10:00

remember when you were little when little secrets were hard to keep?

Well im having those moments, cringing & wanting to literally spill.

Spill from having to look at me, reading my facial expressions & what i have to tell you.

I have a little box, & in that box it might just release a beautiful flower or it could be pandora's box.We would just have to wait and see patiently,...waiting for a sign of relief

It will be today (4 hours), tom (24 hours) , the next day ( 20 hours) ... = 48 hours

to be back in bliss.

This to me feels like eternity and for once i am admitting so.

What am i hoping for? for a smooth transition, for a smooth sailing ride , for a moment to smile & laugh, a moment where i could enjoy, a moment where everyone & everything is in place.

mmmmmm....smells some dinner....curry.....

snapping * back to reality. I am loaded by work & running out of time till the show starts.

EEeeep.....Till next wednesday :) & i still havent worked out my dance routines.

Im so hopelessly old in the dance scene or i am just plain forgetful.

Xoxo

werner's bug

2008-06-15T15:07:00.002+10:00

i know....crazzy.....another werners stop. Hahaha that place is getting rather addictive.

it's the atmosphere, the familiar faces and the open space..

No one is sweating & getting all grumpy....

Another week has passed, i need to wipe off my dark cloud. Just waiting, i know in a week.

I will see some sense into things. I know that im out every week for a peace of mind behind the chaotic strangers u meet.

filling the tin can

2008-06-14T17:43:00.002+10:00

mood---> thumping headache

what fills the stomach--->overdose of homemade soup & a banana

wants---> badly to sleep, and cough* have a shower..hahah

nap first ;) ...

going by a blink

2008-06-12T15:53:00.005+10:00

Currently reading: jane fonda,
time: surprisingly longer than usual, not even half way through the book yet with harry i finished it within the day. I guess with work, i hardly have time to even have a day of leisure. Today i have been grated such time, im just exhausted. Truly am.....
I havent even had time to sleep , let alone visit anyone....

Over the last weekend though, i managed to catch up with lovely shauna. Hopefully , get to
see her again before she goes of. What an eventful night, cough* from annoying attention
& the down pouring rain. We literally got soaked....:)

My heartful agenda: waiting for ajie to be back, missed him a lot, still am. He's been busy at work as i have been with mine. Hopefully he's crit went well. I think this parting which strangely happens frequently in our relationship has taken its toll. Feels harder to deal with in time & i think rather than feel estrange as the relationship takes a 5 year mark. It has been rather comical to find that it has gone the total opposite. In the course of it all, it seems that whispering of gossips float around wanting to break that innocent bond we have with each other. I am quite surprised we lasted this long, did not anticipate it. I always chuckle* to say that "we" have probably lasted more than marriages at this present time, long gone were the days of our grandparents.Having toast to 50th golden weddings.

Eye opener:

Relationships are not just based on love but to me, its a chart of different kinds of love. Firstly, the love you have for each other. You know physical & lust. The initial attraction.Then you have respect, which is the kind of love family gets. Thirdly, you have love whereby you have passion of wanting the same ideals and goals in life. That is hard to find because sometimes. Actually, all the time you never meet a partner who's willing to overlook and agree with the same views.Some are closed minded and old fashioned, Others overbearing and controlling. So in turn, what you're looking for is a best friend. Like any gf we have, willing to listen. Compromise & grow with each other. I mean, ajie and i. We dont know each others favourites but i dont think that qualifies us imperfect. Rather we focus on the more important things is life, what we both can bring together as we unite into the current & future.Like business partners? Along the way, we suffer, along the way, we fight but at the end of the day. The puzzle becomes a picture. That we are still together. People wonder about dangerous liasons, venturing out but i think it comes down to you. Every person u meet will tell a different story, if the story you already have is good. I suppose why change it, we only live once and events are due to happen as i have already lived through 24 yrs of it which includes nurmerous heartaches & burns. I think i can handle a little more.

Through the dips & lowest point i have been. My relationship seems to spark it off to a new level of hope. I may not have the smoothest ride on the road but i think if my heart is mended to a beautiful simplicity and that I am happy. I should be thankful for having found someone who's
meaningful enough for me to spend my life with.

cant wait for you to get back.
xoxo

hitting merry

2008-06-08T15:31:00.008+10:00

weekends are slowly turning into stress free modes

with access to fun fun fun...

im ticking off till my baby gets back, miss him so much...

comfort & just being with my own personal bestie...

just till the 17th

im over it

2008-06-04T03:34:00.002+10:00

im over, expressing myself....

im over feeling angry or sad

im over it...

i just feel emotionless....

my white weekend

2008-06-02T05:38:00.012+10:00

it was a good weekend, non hectic.

chilled with lots of eating and rethinking about the past

like an old record player. All in a good way

the best was being in the same bubble

as we all were back in the days.

Us four reshot pictures together :) as taken

before at red chambers and the after in the present.hrmmm must get a hand on the before.

i love wearing white....though i could never go without staning it...shesh*

glad , going to have lunch with them tom. yeay :)

work hard & play hard

2008-05-29T22:05:00.009+10:00

pictures courtesy of wallpaper offcourse ( archi + fashion = hot)

questions crossing my head---?

I managed to push myself through grueling pain ( flu + fever )

in order to be at work despite the fact that i have temporarily lost sense

of smell and hearing.

:) does that mean i am growing up? hahaha

in terms of work offcourse. Actually with work at Dinkums & Gelati

despite having numerous accounts of migraines . I still attended.

So, perhaps in the work force ( i will be professionally working in years to come)

i have matured. Maybe i will look for a part timejob in a firm in melbourne, rather

than the non related jobs i have had in the past.Time to get crunching!

I want to finish by next year.

interesting notes*

1. learned to approach clients in malaysia

2. feeling to push work time and more to over time

3. Learning to use programs extensively

4. Having a feel of other peoples experience.

5. Learning mostly & direct contact with the architects

6. Doing different kinds of panels.

Im pretty sure now, this is what i am going to do & will continue

to touch on the design aspect of things. I will venture out in

fashion without a doubt, im think of doing interior actually too.

It doesnt make sense to only have one skill when man had plenty in the past.

They were inventors, architects, were farming, making craft & etc..

So, we do have a long line of capabilities. Its whether you would like

to squeeze it out or not.

help, i have lost my parrot

2008-05-22T00:36:00.010+10:00

"A missing parrot has been returned to his keeper after reciting his full name and address to a concerned vet. "
Police rescued Yosuke the African Grey Parrot from a rooftop in the Japanese city of Nagareyama over two weeks ago. He spent one night at the police station before local cop Shinjiro Uemura transferred him to a nearby veterinary hospital while he looked for clues.
After a few days, Yosuke began chatting with the vet, repeatedly announcing “I’m Yosuke Nakamura”. The parrot then provided his home address down to the street number and even entertained the hospital staff by singing songs.
Police contacted the address and sure enough, its resident was delighted to hear his missing pet bird was safely found. The Nakamura family told police they had been teaching the bird its name and address for about two years.
But Yosuke apparently wasn't keen on opening up to police officials. "I tried to be friendly and talked to him, but he completely ignored me," Uemura said.

gn: I am going to type my conversation

syg: stop typing! can i get your attention

gn: no i want to blog!

syg: urghhhh...ok!

gn: we havent written to each other in a while, how do we make it different?

syg: keep sending you snail mail.

conclusion---> sweet notes in exchange for nice messages.

syg: i save ur messages

gn: u dont save them!

bicker.........

bickering & excuses.......

gn: i love u, do u miss me?

syg: too much

jiwang talk...i want o be back home where i can fold clothes, clean the house, eat choc, hug my cats to death & snuggle next to you

i wouldnt mind going for a drive for coffee , it's been a while.

syg: u dont drink coffee?

gn: thats an excuse...

syg: max brenner

i chimed in cinnamon babka with extra choc dip

step into the real world

2008-05-21T21:40:00.005+10:00

am i beaming? am i seriously smiling? am i sad? am i truly aching?

I know that i can be an actress at times. Not to you, not around people but to myself.

Sometimes, i deny my own self the need to be truthful...sometimes i smile so that you

would be happy & pretend to be content when im really not.

Thats the beauty of expression & the many faces.

Work was interesting, it was nice to be put out there.

I was rather frightened to be honest but i think we all get a little

scared when we are left out on our own.

So, now im going to be working full time in W for 2 months.

The only hard thing is the travelling..nothing else.

surprisingly, im enjoying it. Enjoying not being a bum.haha

Knowledge---> feasibility study, now i can put a price on a building :)

twinks*

2008-05-20T23:43:00.014+10:00

Accomplished a lot of things today which in turn puts a smile to my face,

flashback*---> havent done that in a while,well from manila offcourse

Got up on time and early for the driving exam.

Made sure i went through the whole book and every silly mistake i made to understand more about driving.

I found myself in a little bubble, well besides sweating like pig in the heat& slowly falling off to sleep. We all sat in silence during the ride.

:) a very fancy van that was..cough*, anyhow we ended up somewhere away in shah alam . Ironically close to home, silly how i had to get pop to drop me all the way to pj to come back to shah alam again.

anywayyyy..i passed the exam!! yeay!! im halfway through to having

a skill in my life :) i managed to score 46/50 which i thought wasnt too bad at all.

i headed straight away to book in my last lecture on saturday then

all i have to do is to sit for another 3 hrs with an instructor for basic driving and then to proper driving lessons for 12 hrs.

After having a cheary moment: hopped on to a cab

rushed off to pyramid thinking i could head in for a colour appointment extra early.Ended up having to wait till 2pm , students do need to eat. So, i couldnt argue to that.

Somehow managed to kill time nicely with some reading and lunch.sushi* yummmm....

Hair moment no???? like i said i have a hair identity crisis.

I love changing hairstyles like clothes.

I decided on having highlights & doing the full colour myself.

after about a good solid 3 hours, i was pretty impressed.

he did a wonderful job :) im glad i managed to squeeze that in today

Got kuya(thank you!)to get me back home & he taught me how to drive.

Hehehe so i drove home well from the round about to home

with some streering help. All i need to do is to CALM DOWN & be confident :)

i think i can do it.

OH yes, i need my contacts. im pretty paranoid about being

blind on the road and anywhere actually.

Plus, that would help with rehearsals too...

Another item done is Nassy's book: Wonderful Today by Pattie Boyd

married to george from the beatles & eric clapton.

beautiful book , beautiful pictures, inspires me again with my photo's.

Compelling life full of unknowing events.

Def a great read! thanks sweetie :)

check more great photo's on her website.

http://www.pattieboyd.co.uk/

it makes me think? what sort of relationships would turn out for each and every one of us?

soul mates or crazy lusty love/passion?

How do we truly decide who is right for us?

Looking at closer precedent, everyone falls into that well....of mistakes

women turning into scorned lovers & men tripping over young ones.

I just hope that it turns out well, where i meet my bestfriend & love at the same time.

feeling lost at sea

2008-05-19T00:19:00.006+10:00

blobbling over water...blobbling over a whole mess of things.
This clearly indicates my need for fresh air and in the need to get back home,

what shits me-->

the weather, i hate wanting to have a shower after a shower,
the stupid unfriendly public transport that is full of danger,
the hassle of learning how to drive, why cant it be easier,
my own sweet money, i miss earning my own dosh,
i hate monging....

* totally venting out on things. i need to chill
yesterday was nice though, a touch of family is nice

miss homebody

2008-05-14T14:41:00.005+10:00

Staring blankly at the plain canvas thats sits in front of me.

What comes forward as a subject today, I have managed

to organize myself better i suppose.

Writing delayed e-mails meant for yonks ago, jotted down important dates

so i dont forget them and clash them with others.

Started to put things in the right folders. Mini chores that i didnt realize that had to be done.

next jump---> Labelling & designing my necklaces.

Tidying my ever growing wardrobe that sits in my suitcase

so, sad. i dont seem to have a placement in this house.

I now sit in my little square cubic room , quite content actually...

todays push---? Cough* still havent opened the undang undang book...

Continue designing my logo

Call in the archi's.......

Work out my outfit for tom so that i wont die in the heat

i hate wearing a shirt and long pants in kl,especially if im being exposed in the

sun. Not cool to look sweaty.....

better add credit to my phone so i wont be bored tom and nass's pattie boyd's

book.

water......bottled water......

Back to being a homebody, maybe in between i will slip in one of my many pinoy dvd's to watch.

tee hee* still in my pj's .

lining off the clouds

2008-05-13T14:27:00.012+10:00

(comic moment in manila:i wish we all had driving schools like that)

Realization---> Frankly, i get over things quite easily. Somehow this seems as though i have been possessed with multiple personalities. Crazy raving women hormones as one could put it. Certainly not PMS? but with similar symptoms which range from being emotional and volatile in the first few hours in the day to feeling quite nothing in the next day. Almost as though it never happened. I know, it can be frustrating especially to poor dear ajie who has to listen to my rants and torments which are clearly kept at bay in front of others. Should i call that hypocritical , i dont think so. I just choose wisely and carefully on whom deserves the lucky call of my tornadic (hehe, clearly a word i made up, could be in the dictionary? have no time to check now) howls.

I do rant occasionally to my fellow best buddies sweet naturedly offcourse , after all they are taking their time to listen.

Being a scorpio, i must be secretive. This blog alone is a little chamber of let loose secrets, circling around to strangers i wont meet, to friends who may check in once in a while and family members who peep to see what im up to. That somehow doesnt intimidate me as much as to gush out in real life and on the spot. phew* i sound like a hermit

However , im feeling much better today. Better than yesterday and have slightly rubbed on some sunshine on my shoulder. Maybe i was questioning too much, so what i will do from today is just to run my life the way i have projected it. Little bumps, busy busy & patience along the way.

wink* ---> finally booked in my com exam for thursday morning & hopefully the last lecture this saturday. Im sick of hanging around & i just need to drive...

moderately dispositioned

2008-05-12T21:25:00.013+10:00

mood: currently feeling unsatisfied with the time line of things.

2 months left, 2 months left to bring out a folio, submit design ideas,start my jewellery line, rehearse for a show, sort out my driving, arrange my visa back to melbourne and hopefully not to go insanely mad at the process. hopefully praying that things would finally fall into place, i miss sanity, i miss peace.....

to be honest, im fried. thats why i worked hard so that i could take those two trips

off to my own version of never never land. Far aware from the complications of problems,

the familiar faces that i do not want to see. Im not quite sure, whether it worked affectively

for me. Whether a week in thailand changed my perception but i do know that the 2 weeks in manila brought sweet memories that projected me back into my childhood. Great grounds of love from my mums side.I will never complain of the crazy traffic on the road let alone in the shopping malls,the pollution that stains the buildings, the honks of jeepneys, the short rides on the tricycles, neither will i nag about the crazy american food chains that splatter themselves all over manila. It is my home,part of me that no one can take away. Somehow, when i was little i used to wonder whythe malaysian side of me would cease to approve of me visiting? isnt it my right to have part of me discover where my mother comes from. It hurt deeply knowing that i should even be denied access of visiting. But im glad im much older & for now i clearly do not give a rats ass about other people's thoughts and views on where i should go. I have always fended for my own trips and payed for it.

"na mahal na mahal ang family si nanay ko". I love my mum's side of the family dearly.

they have always been supportive. Even though, i didnt get to see them much.My grandma "mummy" is a doll, she's so affectionate and sweet natured. My grandpa though a slight hitler touch to him was such a lovely person. He's handsome smiles and talks i wont forget. Slightly cheeky and makes the funniest comments. My aunties and uncles, all so giving and supporting of all our decisions and ideas. It must have been a great ensemble when they were all together. It makes me wonder what life would be for me if i did live in the philippines with them. Secretly, i think it would have been interesting

But as much as i could dream of being away in far places where some events didnt happen.

I guess i should remain patient with what the plate has. My triumphs could be shortly change into joys, my wounds could heal, my eyes & thoughts could open to greater visions. Another note i took in from this time of relief is my clipping hands on the keyboard has started. So, that is a positive note to write more often, to lay tracks of history down my path.

in need of air supply

2008-04-23T14:05:00.022+10:00

i needed to have some time to get away from the usual hustle and bustle that spills out of my life when im kl. The drama , the nags and the constant headaches that fills my head. I just needed to reflect on a time where i had nothing to think about. Away from those who drown and bring me down. I needed to fill new air into my lungs, perhaps a new perspective on things. Which i did come back with, as katt read from a book which said not to hold on to anything as that would just bring u down. let go & from there u will find happiness. In my own literal take of it.

I believe now that i should not take it in, they say what they want to say but i have come this far in life without any help and to struggle and strive on my own with my hard earned sweat and patience.I am my own person

--->Chiang mai was refreshing because of the outdoor fun we had but my god, the heat was something i couldnt handle. At times u just want to faint because you are boiling inside. Sweating non stop, i can say now that i wont ever complain about malaysian heat. Thailand is way hotter in summer.

Waterfalls were breath takingly beautiful. Extremely big in scale and amazing, something u might catch in hawaii. The town seems relatively close to mindanao, quiet , peaceful.

Bangkok was good too with new friends to meet and tasting the local feel.

a beautiful photography show, by a malaysian artist, her major work is coming up in 2010 in kl(keep it posted soon). It was a sweet touch to the trip. It is ironic to be away in a foreign country to be enlighten about your own country there. I felt her work was personal as a malaysian. Also the fact that she questions her identity as i do, being half heritage of another culture.

Enjoyed mango tango & lots of drinks as i nearly passed out in the city...hahaha

kap pun kaa! to katt for bringing me and taking the time to welcome me to her home :)
thanks to dj ob for bringing us out and making me some cd compilations.

when is your call?

2008-04-14T11:39:00.002+10:00

intently listening to my heart, i wonder when will it be my turn to visit this holy place. Somehow,despite physically saying i cant. My mind is saying i can,It is such a beautiful notion to be gathering for prayers and only prayers. Placing yourself as how many muslims have. My dad is going today which is enlighting. Proud and admire the courage for a convert to be taking a big step, what does it say to all the other muslims who are born into the religion? anyway, i will just pray that his journey will open his heart and that everything goes well and safely.

getting into astrology

2008-04-13T13:42:00.003+10:00

lately, since i have been slammed with unwanted favours passing by me, I decided to turn to the chinese astrology to get a little fun and see whats out there for me in 2008,

Birth Data: giana zulkafli
Birth Date:

October 26, 1984
Signs
giana zulkafli
Year
Wood Rat
Month
Wood Pig
Day
Wood Sheep
Introduction
After two Fire years, life may seem calmer during this Earth year. That could be deceptive, however, as the Rat never stops moving -- especially when it comes to mental activity.
Unfortunately, Earth has a destructive relationship with the Rat's fixed element, Water. This is not disastrous, but it does mean you should not rely too much on luck this year.
On the other hand, the combination of Earth and Rat means this is extremely positive year for achieving results. The Rat tends to take a lot of risks, while Earth is associated with practicality and stability. This creates balance and can lead to good profits, increased productivity and all other accomplishments. Additionally, under Earth's influence there could be fewer scandals than in other, Rat, years.
The Rat is the first sign of the Chinese zodiac and signifies new beginnings. That makes this year an appropriate time to start new ventures and break new ground. This includes new ideas, directions and ways of doing things. It is a time to experiment and put plans into action, as there will be plenty of opportunities to achieve success. Remember that things began during this year are likely to have long term consequences, so choose your actions wisely to enrich your life.
This year is also an equally good time for thinking and all manner of intellectual endeavors. Planning, scholarship and research, for example, are favorable activities. It is also an auspicious time for the arts; although, under Earth's influence, applied arts such as design and graphics may do best.
Earth favors those who are tied to the land, do a lot of routine work, deal with practical matters or perform work of a spiritual nature. Based on the characteristics of both Earth and Rat, it could be a very good year for those with careers in business, construction, engineering, academia, planning and the clergy.
There is likely to be a focus on career and self-improvement this year, to the detriment of family. Therefore, you need to be attentive and creative so that the family area of your does not suffer. It is, however, a relatively good time to begin a new romance. Those in a relationship may want to consider raising it to the next level, including marriage.
Since this is an Earth year, those people born in a Metal year will generally fare better than others of their animal sign, while those born in a Water year are likely to do worse than those born in Wood, Fire, and Earth years.
Health issues vary not only by sign, but also by individual. Your best bet is to visit a Chinese doctor to have your balances checked and get personalized advice for the coming year. It is an Earth year, so one thing we can say in general is to get enough exercise and be on the alert for unwanted weight gains. Inactivity could lead to problems.
In closing, 2008 will be a year of possibilities, a time of progress -- although not very spectacular. Those who take the biggest risks could be disappointed. Everyone should, nevertheless, add something new to their life during this year of fruitful new beginnings.

past primary, past high school & uni

2008-04-13T13:20:00.002+10:00

everyone has growned up, mellowed or either hyped up. But it's still a beautiful agenda to still hang out with each other despite everyones lives being filled with things to do.

look what the mail brought

2008-04-11T16:09:00.007+10:00

you know it's funny how i was complaining about not getting snail mail but this is certainly a lovely twist to my request. "So, maybe chilvary might not be dead"

just needed to be reminded, ahem* but thank you syang! for the lovely bunch.Made my day and just how i like it. Im not a big rose fan...expecially red ones. I like other flowers that are less commercial, i love big aussie bush flowers and with heaps of colours in them.god, such a rainbow child.

rewind* i remember my first bunch. I came home one day and there stood

a very beautiful arrangement. All in the perfect colours. Lily's,african sunflowers, the lot. Initially, i thought it was for my mum from pop. After a while ,i came down to read my note. To my surprise , it was for me and it was nice. haha, nice to be acknowledge. Not for attention but for the friendship.

once upon a time

2008-04-11T15:41:00.006+10:00

"Walk down the memory lane of Malaysia in the 1920s when you dine at the Coliseum Cafe & Hotel. Established in 1921, this cafe is one of the oldest in the country. The old furniture and decorative memorabilia, preserved from when it was first opened, creates a nostalgic feeling. The extensive menu, with more than 300 items to choose from, comprises both western and local fare. Popular dishes include the Baked Crabmeat and the selection of sizzling steaks. There is also a pub that serves both alcoholic and non-alcoholic cocktails."

it was great to have some time to explore with mama a cafe downtown.

It was beautiful, beautifully retained. I wish i could go back in time and visit this once again but in another time. Where everything was much more simple.

No pollution, no technology, just the malaysian way of living. Everyone was more together, everyone was one.

feeling rather bored

2008-04-09T18:35:00.005+10:00

pet peeve: it's been 2 days since i have been home and jailed.
not because i am forced, its just that i cant be bothered to do anything at all.
At the same time im suffering the likes of "im bored at home syndrome"

positive takes : I actually took sometime to really go through and create a list of things to do
in boracay and also what i would like to do in chiang mai.I also did the 2 complaint letters needed by syg which eeps* i finally got around to doing & perhaps i might read some chapters for my driving.

likes---> chiang mai: visit the karen long neck hill tribe in paduang
wat phra singh( temple)
thai cooking class if time permits me too
visiting the borders in the likes of getting cheap thrills in crossing international borders

boracay: most beaches on list
absolute indulgence with massages
drive an atv on the islands
golden tan
eating absolute pinoy and light food

cities---> bangkok & manila ( mango galore, food) & shopping!!

so, the whole idea of my cartoonic polaroid is the fact i cant wait to start posting up some great memories thats going to be made via pictures...

clicking on

2008-04-07T17:04:00.028+10:00

act 1:
innocence.
lately i have been taking on subjects that reflect a mood. Due to the current need to seek beautiful black and white potraits. How do we convey the idea of innocence?

Do we strike a dramatic "ahhhhhh"
look? Do we get taken back and think of the days about our sweet childhood?
Whats the perfect mood for innocence????

Its funny too, to have met strange characters in your course of life. Those who laugh for the sake of laughing, those who would flatter their eyes in the needs to look innocent. Those who lie through their teeth and think that we do not know the truth.
Frankly, there is innocence in all of us.
( i would like to belive in vain)

act 2:
emotions, strikes me as crazy thoughts rushing through my brain. Slaving me
into a nightmare of expressions.
Whats my favourite expression?
Probably,hrmmm...i dont know..
My most used expression, would be frowning. By the time i reach 30, which isnt a far call. I would look like a sharpe...

tee hee*

act 3:
Framing my subjects, Im on an excursion
to thailand, chiang mai next week.
I want to capture, the sounds, the sweat and the very essence of the people. I havent taken photo's
in a while. So, it would be exciting. Bending over,
climbing and standing tall to get the right moments. Making sure my light is right.
How do we take good black and white
photos? what are the right clothes for it?
wheres the balance?

act 4:
Moving objects,
I like capturing frames in style.
Capturing the hair in the right position, the eyes in a proper glare.
Every bit of the body in a perfect stance.

act 5:
Gaze, i like gazing out.
I like picturing myself reflecting out of a window when it rains with a book in my hand. Actually i use to do it all the time.
Time to think, time to pause and look out. This month there's plenty of gazing time for me.....

act 6:
Romance, what the secret soup that brews love in the air? Passion?.....tick tock tick tock( hahaha, insight joke between me and nass ;) )
compassion? intimacy?
I think the "idea" of romance is still there, i certainly see it being acted out on pictures but in real life chilvary is dead. Man no longer take the time to woo you as they did back then. Theres no sweet surprises , rather demands which kills of the idea of romance.
They dont seem to take as much pride to get her attention, it seems to be taking a spin on the other direction.
Where are the love letters? sweet notes? secret meets? little gifts?
love has been swinging on to freely now. Everyone is making it into a market fare
or publicized emotions.

its been a while.......

2008-04-07T16:18:00.015+10:00

I will open the page with the word sadness.

it's been a while since i have been sad,

it's been a while since i have wanted to drown my sorrows in despair,

It has been a while since the world looked down upon me without care.

The last time i was sad, truly and genuinely sad was in end of 1995.

Nothing could possibly erase me from that eventful day. Nothing could also live up to the amount of sadness that i received that day. It was a wishy washy of mixed emotions. Wanting to remain poised as a young girl and yet feeling numb ever since. Just waves of sorrys passing by.

From then on, not a touch of events could hurt me. Making me ultimately annoyed and hot tempered.But a couple of days ago, i was sad. For a long time now, i can still feel a pang. It may not be as comparable as to what i felt years ago. But i was just sad.

A pang, that something so close to you cannot be revived. Nothing is the same.

I use to wonder why this happened to me? But sometimes i just ignored it.

Maybe somewhere accross my palm , secretly lies a line that opens a door.

i miss him, miss papa very much......

envy

2008-04-04T14:19:00.013+11:00

Envy dictates from the dictionary:

Main Entry:
1en·vy
Pronunciation:
\ˈen-vē\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural envies
Etymology:
Middle English envie, from Anglo-French, from Latin invidia, from invidus envious, from invidēre to look askance at, envy, from in- + vidēre to see — more at wit
Date:
13th century
1: painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage2obsolete : malice3: an object of envious notice or feeling

Whats your take on your own personal envy?

I would say i envy those who are willing to be unselfish on the accounts of others. I envy those who can take things into their hands and make things better, not for me and you but for the world. Sounds as though im describing a "super being".

Sometimes i think envy is

dangerous will/has/did destroy friendships.Somehow, i always believe when you are truly great friends. Envy doesnt come to you. There shouldn't be the slightest tinge of jealousy or resentment but actual pure sincere thoughts that a friend does certain achievements.

So, that is where envy could go wrong.

Envy could also be healthy in little amounts creating healthy competition between each other. I mean its also always great to be envied rather than to envy. am i right? But i guess along the lines of life, there will always be a path in which you will get trailed off and get your panties into a twist(as li puts it).

****star buy**** make sure you get yourself a copy of the envy mags
that should be out and being envied soon! credits to nassy baby! for her fabulous photos.

elegance is refusal~ coco chanel

2008-04-01T16:45:00.011+11:00

Having to enlighten myself about the french women by

completing the read of " two lipsticks and a lover"(helena frith powell) has raised

the inquisitive need to live life in a different way. Raising my question to infidelity, passion and freedoom.

They say that the french have always remained composed in time with their elegance and poise. After which i do agree

that they do have a certain characteristic about them.

I have learned that beauty is never enough but women with

an air of intellect is hard to resist .( actually i always knew that)

another habit that i would like to raise is

the french are in love with lingerie

~~~> not just lacy racy numbers but actually getting

matching sets not for the pleasures of others but for yourself.

So, take the time to indulge and spend on intimates.

It was a funny question raised with my cousin, kyun.

How many pairs do we all actually need?

How many pairs have you collected yourself?

How many types do we need?

I can tell you that after this . That my love for lingerie for myself will come now. Take some time to strip off everything from your mind. Sit down and think about how un-attractive it is to have granny panties and a black bra? Now sifting through all that i have to make sure that i have pairs would be a task. brassiere should be the new fad.

Passion & infidelity we all should live by it. I think sometimes we put aside what needs to be fueled in us. Maybe with a bit of passion we might find our way into a better relationship and a way of life. I mean in the right quantities, we should not turn passion into greed or obsession.

thats just scary! The French always are in need of a lover as i have taken off from the book. Hence the notion of romance and paris being the city of love. But i made a strange discovery that

a little infidelity does not bother the french at all. Imagine given the context of malaysia, you will be condemned to hell for juggling extra boys on your side. But love is an excuse, there is no harm falling in love or being loved over and over again. Isnt that beautiful, its almost lyrical? Since when has it been a prosecution to love. Ah wait, there are star crossed lovers like romeo and juliet. The likes of families denying them their love. i like being in love , its very clumsy and silly. sparks of a different person in you.

What is scary is when love turns into a chore. Rather than swearing yourself to undying depths of continuous affections. Instead you loathe the person you're with. Just being and staying for sake of the hole that you have dug yourself because of commitments .

But in the end of it all, i found that despite the very temptation of chase . It might just be satisfying that infidelity could just be in the mind ,rather than the act of it.

freedoom off being over weight, it seems as though the number one current obsession on every womens mind is how do we look? I dont know if currently i am obsessed about it? But i do know i would like to see myself in a toned fit body. Its not the crazy magazines that drive me but just a general healthy being. I like waking up knowing that i can be on the go go! for the day. The french eat for pleasure but never over indulging. Despite the numerous packs of cigarettes, glasses of wine & cheese. They just remain thin. Its always about portions and a balance meal of fruits and vegetables. These are all plain common sense, dont you aggree? Im glad that i have more love for greens and fruits.But i think it also depends on how the culture eats? Its hard to deny any good malaysian food especially since i am away most of the time but i have to admit living in melbourne. Has really raised my independence, thus cooking and developing my love for fresh markets. Thats the one thing i want to do when i am in europe. I just love buying fresh produce and cooking.I doubt i would have been like this if i stayed back and studied in malaysia.

So, ladies....slap on more creams and hype up on your beauty regime because getting more sleep is another key secret too looking better.bovarysme~~~

i want to be a bookworm!

2008-03-31T21:22:00.010+11:00

step 1: getting up early for dance class

8.30----> eyes heavy & grumpy....downturned smile....do i have tooo?

dragging my feet on the floor, i grabbed my toothbrush . threw the toothpaste.

whoops fell down somewhere...cant be bothered.

step 2: panicking about not having brekkie

shit shit....late for class...clumsily, hanging on to my roti bakar kaya( which was gorgeous!)

and nasi lemak for kuya dax & mark.

step 3: blurry scenes

jumping around like a mad hare picking up steps from where we left off for more than a week ago.

count gee ann, count! having heaps of fun from laughing to hard at the same time. Man really need to get those contacts....maybe on wednesday :)

step 4: hurrying away

confused? indonesian body massage or reflexology?

decided on pampering of the feet. whoahhhhh! major sores!

no showers after massage...well give it 2 hours and more.

step 5: grinning cat

ooohhhh...jane fonda book only $20. way cheaper than melbs.

ooohhhh more great books...oohhhh time for funny heart warming books:

therefore the purchase of two french books. well about the ever so slim french women

and their knack of looking polished and beautiful at all times. effortless.

ps---> must head down to amcorp mall often.

cheap ass books. good ones too. 4th floor people!

step 6: happily ever after

stuck on screen, chatting to my love and mr betty. cant wait for my reads..:)

damn the room lights are dim....eyes hurting...

im already half way through one of the frenchies... i will finish this all in a week.

grrr***

mamak addiction

2008-03-31T21:07:00.004+11:00

As of yesterday from rehearsal, nass, fai and i made an interesting discovery of how we are addicted to maggi mee goreng. Whatever the deal was, when anyone seems to make their way to a mamak stall. Its the number one order, next to the roti's offcourse. I think i have had atleast order maggi goreng all the time on my pit stops to the mamak in the 2 weeks that i have been here. Well, except for yesterday where i had the sudden craving for paper tosai plus we had that odd conversation. Its funny how this instant noodle has caused such a sensation like since forever.

I practically lived off it once when i was broke in melbourne but ermm too much of it did make me loose some hair...so, be smart and eat it not 24/7. Its also hilarous how the aussie's go , "yeah, majee". "You're like no it's maaggiiiiii!"

besides the whole instant noodle phase, it was a good night catching up with old friends :)

mingling in kl

2008-03-29T03:02:00.005+11:00

dang!
today was a mingle in the jingle,
had a rumble in kl jungle,
trying to get my camera fixed in maju junction,
which me & kyun didnt know how to get to?
erkkk....but with great skills we got there safely
with crazy cock stares from the permata crowd.

headed off to pavillion, which lead me to my new found
comb.:) unique,
i should actually use it, supposedly makes my headaches
better.
manage to pop in for the tommy hilfiger fashion show
....short sweet show....

what vera can do

2008-03-28T15:10:00.009+11:00

These few days, there has been an on going obsession for fabric,

The kind that steals your glares and admiration,

I like vera, she's simple clean, elegant & beautiful,

Everything falls to be made for your body.

well, im feeling the urge to start sewing again.

Since i do have the facility to do so and some extra time on me,

I need to get books on cuts which i should have done in melbourne,

erkk...when time doesnt permit you to head down to lincraft.

procrastination--->

1. sewing

2. completing my US photo album

3. spending more time on my SLR

4. starting my jewellery line

5. salsa

Dont we all procrastinate, it feels that every single year time passes by

too fast and sometimes to slow. Sometimes i feel that work drains me out

leaving me months of " when did my life pass by this fast?"

Huge question mark?

Before you know it, im hitting the mid age of the 20's...ah 24!

which leaves me 6 years to hit all the expectations and goals

i should achieve.

like travelling and living in europe. Hitting south america

and yes, becoming an architect.

haha.... i will just leave this for fate and time

good old mail

2008-03-26T14:09:00.011+11:00

i miss getting mail, snail mail that is.

The last delight i received was a small catalogue from acne jeans.

It was silly to be excited over it, but the swedish hint lingering in my sight,

lit my eyes,

gorgeous photo's, inspiring to take ones like these.

Quite glad i signed up for it,

The kind of other mails i would like to receive would be

postie's. I love sending them out , never seem to receive one??!?

like heading out to the post office, having the trouble to buy stamps.

and placing the par avion (air mail) on the envelopes.having sticky fingers

after furiously stamping it into the wet sponge.

Then somehow hoping it doesnt come out to wet

on the envelope.it doesnt seem to take much to make me little self happy?

little silly joys.

xoxo

the mid 24/7

2008-03-25T00:06:00.014+11:00

toys toys galore

a beautiful song, a beautiful theme, the likes of marc by marc jacobs

fancy the hair, the shirt, the skirt, the beautiful models

i love the likes of legs. the more the merrier.

the fancy block colours of red,candy floss hair

whispering hair

2008-03-24T19:09:00.003+11:00

Im currently obsessed with times font,

clean cut and simple,

allowing the blog to be neat and spacious,

Also obsessed with the colour white,

being able to put the subject on a stand still,

nothing leaves yours eyes,

Just space and emptyness

Im in love with the nature of having random haircuts,

being able to change and revolutionalized into something different,

Not being a different person

but being a cut out doll,

like the ones we did when we were little.

horoscope dilemma:

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Throw caution to the wind when it comes to your hair. Spring is here, and it's time to start show off a new you! You've been thinking about a radical change and now's the time to go for it. The universe is on your side, and the luck you'll need to get the exact look you're seeking is yours. Stop thinking, and do it! You'll love it.

im thinking light brown, curls...do i dye it first or should i curl it first?

what would you do?

i want answers.....

toot toot

2008-03-23T19:17:00.003+11:00

The epitome of happiness:

am i in the state of happiness?

not happy in love because my love is not here

but i am somehow happy of being home,

in the presence of a different love.

Love that revolves in settling,

that involves in an organic wholeness

JOYS: flowering out of that tight box

hugging good friends

letting loose of mind and soul

SPEWS: the constant swags of events

the heat & pollution

the long short conversations we have

the constant stares

entering the year

2008-03-17T17:27:00.003+11:00

Finally, having the very urge to blog.

The last time i laid a blah on this page

was in the states. I suppose the roller coaster

ride i took from last year from my own adventures

have swept me far and straight into the month of march.

Well, soon enough march is coming to and end.

I am excited to be home except the drawbacks of missing ajie, li

& the two terrors at home( dali and chloe).

Its strange also to have so much time in my hand and

no work to occupy my every minute and hour.

Soon enough i will be starting work and soon enough

i will promise to possess the skills of driving.

I dont seem to know how i could have put this off for

hrmmm...7 years....;)

besides that im relatively independent so that will be

the last quality to have.

Im estatic also about my upcoming trip to chiang mai,

had always wanted to go up north and finally i saved up enough.

Boracay would be another pit stop in my quest to see more in

the philippines.

the only problem i seem to have is the crazy heat that is making

me slow, drowsy....sleepy....

Movie star

2007-11-27T09:44:00.000+11:00

Making my mark down in Universal Studios.

We started our day early by reaching there at 8.30am. I know!?!?!? to think that i cant even get up for work to reach there at 9am. Oh well, i suppose when you're on a holiday. You're pretty much up and running for anything. We bought our tickets and i was surprised that my ISIC card worked there. Finally, some use in the card. So, i got $10 off the ticket. We took the tram tour which was bringing back memories of before. I remember being so tiny back then. This time new sets were there and i actually so i wild wolf on the set of Bruce All Mighty. Was stunned for a good 30 mins.

Since, the lower lot had less things to see. We did that first. We actually took Mummy on the Mummy2 Ride which off course had to turn out to be a crazy roller coaster ride. All grandparents are too delicate for it. Hehehe she was screaming and also shutting her eyes which was what i did.Felt sick. We did the Jurassic Park Ride, tee hee. Tito Nelson got soaked and offcourse i screamed when we were heading down.

* PROUD, i wasnt being a party pooper and went on all rides.

Funny moments= the picture of me and tita as star wars chics, funny head video & the house of horrors(as i was totally dragging both my tita and tito on the ground. It was so scary that we skipped the last round. I coudnt bear the snarling in my ear and the touching too...eeek*

We finished everything by 6.30pm with the extended time of buying souvenirs to remember this trip of mine. We were also constantly eating because we had the pass where you could eat all you want.

A round of trips

2007-11-25T15:44:00.000+11:00

Turkey Day: Thanksgiving Day

It was great to have celebrated the day at Tito Gin-gins house in Tillie Court.

We had our festive feast with a twang of pinoy touch & offcourse picture

taking the whole day. The house was a point of memory for me as i did stay before

when we came to visit with mama in 1991. Can you imagine? i was only 7??

Weird how time has passed by. The house had changed with more space & light

and haha a bigger TV.

JC also has gone so much taller, the last i saw him was at Mummy & Daddy's 50th Anny.

Midnight Madness: Omg ....thats all i can say. Not about the sales but the line to just purchase something and even to get into the stores. Not to mention the traffic it took when we had to park a car.

Time spent: 12.10 pm till 7am

Hahaha i hope ness & ed were fine on their plane back to sings. Better check on them tom!

i officially do not intend to go for any crazy sales that start that late...

House hunting day: We just took some time and decided to look at real estates around tita izah's and tito nelsons area. It was great. loved the layout especially this one unit with beautiful sunlight coming from all directions. Ate: One World Vegetarian, where all vegies are imatated to taste like meat.

It was good and they do catering for celebrities too!

GettY Centre: It was beautiful, had to hitch a tram on that since its way up on the hill.

It had great exhibitions and collections. I was so happy they had Degas and also Van Gogh & Monet. Poor Mummy had to walk with us everywhere. Missed out on the other part, as i wasnt

to keen on seeing anymore 1600's paintings.

Greystone Park: Its never complete without driving down pat Bel Air and Beverly Hills to check out the mansions which i was clearly impressed by because it was bigger than kl's. Anyway , we dropped by Greystone Park. A mansion owned by a rich oil tycoon.

Surprisingly, a number of familiar moves were filmed there, Spider Man 3, Charlie's Angels, X-men, Austin Power, Holiday and etc....

"The largest home ever built in Beverly Hills, Greystone manor, wasn't built by a movie star, even though many movies have been filmed at this spectacular estate.
Beverly Hills is known for its many grand mansions. Unfortunately, you can only drive past most of these majestic estates. But here is a surprising exception to that rule. At Greystone Park, can drive through the fancy wrought-iron gates of one of the most dramatic estates in Beverly Hills, stroll its lushly landscaped, 16-acre grounds, and admire the 55-room castle up close. And it's all free!
This fortress-like Tudor mansion was built by famed oil-tycoon Edward Doheny in 1928, as a gift to his son. With over 46,000 square feet of living space, it cost more than $4 million to build back then (one might imagine what it would cost today). Many people hail this massive home as one of the grandest mansions on the West coast, second only to William Randolph Hearst's San Simeon (although, to the casual visitor, the mansion may not seem to merit that kind of praise).
Several Hollywood movies have been shot here at Greystone, using the stately mansion and its gardens as backdrop.

In 1993's "Indecent Proposal," real estate agent Demi Moore showed millionaire Robert Redford through the empty living room of the mansion. (He didn't like it.)
Remember the scene in the 1998 "Godfather" spoof, "Mafia!," where Christina Applegate walks into the family dining room and announces "Oh good, Italian food!"? That scene also was shot in the Greystone mansion.
In the movie "Town and Country" (with Warren Beatty, Dianne Keaton & Goldie Hawn), the home stands in for Charlton Heston's mansion in Sun Valley.

Other films shot here include "What Women Want" (with Mel Gibson), "The Bodyguard" (starring Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston), "The Phantom" (with Billy Zane), "The Witches of Eastwick" (Jack Nicholson & Cher), "The Big Lebowski" (with Jeff Bridges), "All of Me" (Steve Martin & Lily Tomlin), "Ghostbusters II" (Dan Aykroyd & Bill Murray), "Death Becomes Her" (Goldie Hawn & Meryl Streep), "Jumpin' Jack Flash" (starring Whoopi Goldberg), "The Beautician And The Beast" (with Fran Dresher), "Guilty By Suspicion" (Robert De Niro), "Air Force One" (with Harrison Ford), "Nixon," "Batman & Robin," "Heat," "The Loved One," "Forever Amber," "The Winds of War," and "Dynasty, the Movie." They shot an episode of "Alias" here. And back in 1991, they shot episodes of the vampire soap opera "Dark Shadows" here.
On TV's "Gilmore Girls," Greystone is seen as the exterior of Chilton Preparatory Academy, the prestigious private school that Rory (Alexis Bledel) attends.

Even the famous marriage of "Luke & Laura" on TV's "General Hospital" was shot in the gardens of Greystone (where it posed as the Port Charles Mayor's mansion.)
Actor James Woods was married - for real - at the estate.
So was Kirk Douglas. In May of 2004, Mr. Douglas and his wife of 50 years, Anne, were re-married at Greystone, at a ceremony with 300 guests in attendance, including Lauren Bacall, Nancy Reagan, Tony Curtis, Karl Malden, Merv Griffin, Sidney Sheldon, Red Buttons, Don Rickles, Angie Dickinson, Jennifer Jones and many more.
In 2001, the Elton John music video "I Want Love," was shot in one seamless take; it shows actor Robert Downey Jr. wandering about inside the Greystone mansion, lip-syncing the words to the song.
The estate has been leased on a semi-permanent basis by the American Film Institute. So don't be surprised if you bump into a film crew shooting yet another movie.
Alas, the home is now empty, and is closed to visitors; there are no regular public tours of the house itself. Most months we are limited to exploring the peaceful, forest-like grounds surrounding the home, with an occasional peep through a dusty window for a brief glimpse of the mansion's vast interior.
However, they DO offer a short series of classical (chamber music) concerts each year, held inside the living room of the mansion. The events include a small reception and a tour of the first floor of the mansion, in addition to the concert. Ticket price is $20, and advance reservations must be made at (310) 550-4796. In 2003, concerts will be held on four weekend days: January 25, February 23, March 23 and April 26.
Despite their incredible wealth (a fortune of over $100 million), the members of the Doheny family had their share of tragedy. Edward Doheny was involved with bribery charges in the infamous Teapot Dome scandal, and his son's life ended in a bizarre murder-suicide at the home. The son's widow lived on at Greystone until 1955. The estate was eventually willed to the city of Beverly Hills, and it is now a public park.
But few people seem to know about it; Greystone is one of L.A.'s better kept secrets.
The park's hilltop parking lot offers a magnificent panoramic view of the city below. You'll also find a bulletin-board nearby, studded with black and white photos which show the Greystone estate during its glory days.
A self-guided tour of the grounds will take you along a maze of winding stone walkways and brick stairways, past sweeping green lawns and wonderful vistas, sculpted hedges, hidden courtyards, and lush landscaping. Keep to your right as you make your way downhill, and you'll eventually find the paths that lead to the mansion itself. (There's a lot of walking and stair-climbing to be done here, if you wish to fully explore the estate, so wear comfortable shoes and be ready for some exercise.)
The mansion resembles a modern castle, with three-foot-thick grey limestone walls, heavy wooden doors, stone courtyards, and a slate roof; it's not hard to figure out why they called it "Greystone"...
There is a tranquil, rarefied atmosphere up here on the hilltop, amid the towering redwoods. There's a pine scent in the air, and every turn seems to reveal a new view of the cityscape below.
Take a peek through the smudged windows of the mansion. A brief look reveals vast marble halls and glorious old ballrooms, replete with parquet floors, crystal chandeliers, massive marble fireplaces, and sweeping stone archways. This is where Robert Redford and Demi Moore walked during their scene in "Indecent Proposal."
Even so, all is not well in paradise.
The house and grounds, for all their former grandeur and current beauty, seem uncommonly vacant and aloof today. Like a giant stone castle abandoned in some tragic fairy tale, the home sits vacant and forlorn, its rooms now empty of both furniture and of the people who once brought the house to life. There is an undeniable sadness to this deserted mansion.
Likewise, the beautiful grounds have been fairly well maintained, but not with the same kind of loving care that a devoted owner would lavish on such a handsome estate. Mr. Doheny must have loved water, because the property is dotted with numerous swimming pools, fountains, reflecting pools, waterfalls and ponds. Yet, almost all of these now stand bone dry and melancholy. Only one tiny lily pond remains filled, but the large koi fish that swim in it seem oddly listless as they drift among the lily pads.
Greystone Park is well worth a visit. After all, how often do you get invited to a millionaire's grand estate in Beverly Hills? But the mansion has such wonderful potential that it seems a crime to let it sit empty and idle. With a little effort, the home could be opened to the public for docent-led tours; the history of the property told to visitors. At least a few of the mansion's 55 rooms could be furnished and restored to their former grandeur, and perhaps rented out for festive occasions...
As it is now, the mansion seems chilly and lifeless.
There were too few visitors to the park when I last visited, on a warm Sunday afternoon; just an occasional family on a picnic, or an out-of-town tourist, which only added to the estate's sense of isolation. Fortunately, there is a park ranger on duty, stationed near the mansion's rear courtyard. And even in its current diminished condition, Greystone is still a sight to be seen.

On April 15, 2000, President Bill Clinton visited the Greystone mansion, the site of a major fundraiser hosted by DreamWorks partners Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen. This wasbe the President's second visit to Greystone; a 1999 fundraiser was also held there, and featured opera singer Andrea Bocelli. Among stars on the guest list for the dinner at Greystone Mansion in Beverly Hills were Meg Ryan, Dennis Quaid, Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell and Whoopi Goldberg.
The park grounds are open daily: 10 a.m.- 5 p.m.(until 6 p.m.in the summer months); the mansion itself is not open to the public. Parking is in a free hilltop parking lot, within the gates. No admission charge.
Update: As of 2002, the mansion and grounds are undergoing a major renovation. I've heard that the estate's pools & fountains may work again when the job is finished. But in the meantime, the mansion is closed and parts of the grounds may be off-limits to the public."

Hotspots:

Rodeo Drive---> It was just plan fun walking up the road and looking at all the big brand names in their best display. My favourite were the street chandeliers displayed for x-mas. The best shop front was prada with their underground display.

The number of cars were crazy..Ooohh spotten one of Baldwins brothers but other that no one who i knew was like famous famous there.

PIGGED OUT AT IN AND OUT BURGER..hehe had to try the upsize beef burger..hehe

better than MC D's

Next Stop--> Hopefully Hollywood :)

my final countdown

2007-11-22T18:41:00.000+11:00

Woot woot

finally here in LA, super excited because im spending time to

see my mums side of the family.

Area: West Covina, LA, California

worked my butt off to save for the ticket so now all im going to do

is sit back and relax.

Flight details, i am summing up to---> Qantas is not that great, so i still love MAS airlines
Stopover Auckland, it looked so beautiful def have to make it a destination next time.

Delay in the terminal for 2 hours plus, delay in plane because some fiber glass broke...another 2 hours....arrived...delay again cause tow bar broke then delay again because police were on board, someone was sick....

but now im safely here in Tita izah's house which is beautiful.

Went shopping today with Van and eD.

Area: Dessert Hill, evil evil

mood--> satisfied with purchases :)

finally van bought her coach bag!!

have to thank them for bringing me out shopping tooo!

love u guys

all spooks galore

2007-11-12T19:20:00.000+11:00

I decided that since it is li's first year in melbourne,
we both hosted a joined bday party with "halloween" as the theme.
(li's bday actually lands on the 31st) With all the crazy events happening
such as exams and the races, we finally decided on the 10th of Nov.
That date shall be the day where all the spooks would be out.
All i can say is thanks guys for making the effort and also coming
out to join us on our belated birthdays. It couldnt have been better!

almost done

2007-11-05T17:00:00.000+11:00

im almost almost done.....just a few more things left to do
and im officially free for the next few months.

Well looking back and thinking maybe im not
a free bunny after all. With 2 jobs to handle , thats not
really a holiday is it.

I just forgotten that i didnt take time to express how
my birthday went. I did an exam in the morning, got approving smiles..
which was good i think?!?? cleaned the house in the mid morning and rested.
Did hot yoga with li for the first time. It was really good and well the place
didnt quite smell nice and had dins with good company at COOkie...
I obviously stuffed my face but hey it was my bday.

then it was li's bday. Morning brunch ...hehe i mean lunch

but the highlight of the cake is OUR BDAY PARTY THIS WEEK.
SCARY SPOOKSSS.....

so you think you can dance?

2007-10-18T01:37:00.000+10:00

I am so psyched they are here, and guess what im giving it a go. I havent dance in 5 years.... it is just something i have to do for myself and my bday :)

Calling all Movers and Shakers

The Search for Australia's Favourite Dancer Is On!

So You Think You Can Dance Is Looking For People With Incredible Dance Abilities

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for young Australians (18-35 yrs) to perform to millions and win a professional dance prize, hard cash and the title- Australia's Favourite Dancer. If you have a passion to perform Urban and Street Styles, Classical Technique, Acrobatic Hip-Hop, Commercial Pop-Routenes, Ballet, Contemporary, Traditional, Jazz, Musical Theatre, Avante Garde, Exotic, Lyrical Storytelling, or your own creative fusions it is time to show us your stuff! We want to see it all. Come down and get involved in the most exciting new television event this year...

Contestant Requirements

You Must be between the ages of 18 and 35 on February 1st 2008 to be eligible.
Auditions are open to all professional & amateur dancers
You must be an Australian citizen or permanent resident
Contestants must be available exclusively to the production for the following periods:

- 1 week between 13/11/07 & 07/12/07

- 04/02/08 - 04/05/08

You must bring to the audition the following:

- 2 commercially available CD's purchased from a physical store, no downloads or remixes allowed. You may have to dance to these

- ID - Driver's License, Passport or Birth Certificate

Full Terms and Conditions of the competition are available at the audition as part of the Agreement/Release. You will need to sign this agreement in order to participate in the competition.

AUDITION VENUES

Adelaide

Date: Sunday 7 October 2007

Venue: Adelaide Symphony Orchestra

Grainger Studios,

91 Hindley Street, Adelaide, SA. 5000

Brisbane

Date: Saturday 13th and 14th October 2007

Venue: RNA Showgrounds, Coffee Club Auditorium

Gregory Terrace, Bowen Hills, QLD. 4006

Perth

Date: Sunday 21st October 2007

Venue: Burswood Theatre

Great Eastern Highway, Burswood, WA 6100.

Melbourne

Date: Saturday 27th and 28th October

Venue: Melbourne Olympic Park Function Centre

Swan Street (via Entrance D), Melbourne, VIC 3000

Sydney

Date: Saturday 3rd and 4th November 2007

Venue: Entertainment Centre

35 Harbour Street, Darling Harbour, NSW.2000

If you dance with a partner or in a group make sure you bring your partners. Hot Ballroom and Latin isn't half as sexy as when you fly solo and a choreographed piece for 5 isn't the same on your own.
Week after week the chosen finalists will be challenged by a fusion of hot dance styles such as Tango, Rumbas, krump, Jive, Cha Cha, Foxtrot, Samba, Popping and Locking, Blues, Broadway, Paso Doble and Mambo to name just a few.

If you are up for the adventure of a lifetime and you think you have what it takes to become Australia's favourite dancer, you will be judged by three of the most accomplished australian-based dancer/choreographers in the world. They'll be seeing you soon but only if you come.

Dress to impress. There's a $500 cash prize for the weirdest, wildest, most wonderfully presented dancer at EVERY audition centre.

All contestants must bring with them two pieces of their own music to perform infront of the judges. It MUST be on a commercially purchased CD.

We can't wait to Meet You. Good Luck Australia!

a splash of colours

2007-10-08T20:47:00.000+10:00

Last month, this month has been filled with details, i cooked heaps this month due to puasa, I also won a contest to SUPER BAD! haha that was awesome, i mingled with friends(plenty of bday babies going around) and music and hope there's more to come this bday month of mine :) and spent good time with li bee! also went crazy had super long hair now back to short :)

I HEART OCTOBER!

it's been a while

2007-10-03T14:38:00.000+10:00

It has been a while since i took a photo in passion,
It has been a while since i claimed myself on the dance floor,
It has been a while since i ran in a park,
It has been a while since i smiled in glee,
It has been a while.....

a while to be creative, active and happy..